


Old Flames

by DesertRaven



Series: Old Flames [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Au Ra Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Choking, Coercion, Dubious Consent, Excessive use of fade to black, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), NSFW, Named Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Patch 5.3: Reflections in Crystal Spoilers, Tagging as I go, Toxic Relationship, Zenos-typical violence, no beta only shame, seriously so much angst, the plot is a mess, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:21:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26825797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertRaven/pseuds/DesertRaven
Summary: Set post-5.3.Zenos yae Galvus and the Warrior of Light reunite, for better or for worse.Just Self-Indulgent Things.
Relationships: Zenos yae Galvus/Warrior of Light
Series: Old Flames [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2164608
Comments: 63
Kudos: 108





	1. The Royal Menagerie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates as of 10/13: I added the Rape/Non-Con warning because my line for dub-con does not match everyone’s line for dub-con, and I don’t want anyone going in unprepared.

As with most evenings, the Warrior of Light found herself in the Royal Menagerie with the training dummy she had set up there. The memories hung thick in the air, though decidedly less so now that she knew Zenos was alive. If the rumors out of Garlemald were to be believed, he was abandoning the warpath entirely, though what he intended to do with control of the Empire was anyone’s guess.

Rhela spun her gunblade through the final sweeping arc of her attack combination, her muscles protesting the movement. She had been at it too long tonight. Sweat dripped from her brow, and down her spine under the wrap that bound her chest. Her brain registered the sound of metal on metal, a blade being unsheathed, a split second before she felt the sharp edge at her throat. She kicked herself for not having noticed another’s presence up here before it was too late.

Pressure on the blade made her take careful steps backwards until her back met a solid wall of muscle. She hardly dared breathe, but her mind worked overtime to try to find a means of escape. Her blade was useless, there was no way to move without mortally wounding herself. Talking herself out of it, then.

“Whatever it is you want, killing me is not likely to help you get it.” She let her gunblade drop from her hand, then brought both hands up slowly. “Lower your weapon and we can talk.”

“I had expected more of a fight, my friend.”

Rhela’s heart seized in her chest at the sound of his voice. Of course their reunion would be here. “Zenos…” She swallowed hard, attempting to find a bravado that she didn’t feel. It wasn’t that she feared him, more that she feared her own reaction to his presence. “I would make a poor opponent in my current condition.”

“Hmm,” he snorted and she could hear the smile on his face. “What to do with you, then?”

“You could let me go,” she offered, mostly to cover her true feelings. Her body ached for him, craved his touch in a way she couldn’t understand or even explain. His nearness had set her insides trembling. 

Zenos still hadn’t removed his katana from her throat. She reached for the hilt, fingers resting gently over his. “Please…”

Zenos’s free hand brushed across her stomach, causing her to suck in a breath and curl away from it, which only succeeded in pushing her further into his body. Her movement was so sudden that she cut herself on the edge of the blade; she could feel the trickle of blood as it ran down her neck to pool in the hollow of her throat. His hand drifted lower, fingers brushing the tops of her thighs in a cruel tease. Did he know how much she desired him? Her mouth had gone dry and she swallowed again, desperately trying to find words to tell him no that just weren’t there. “Zenos, please…”

“Are you asking me to stop,” his tone was mocking as his palm slid over her mound, “or to keep going?”

His fingers pressed between her legs and her lips parted on a gasp. 

Finally, he dropped his weapon. Her reaction was near instant; the moment he lowered the blade she drove her elbow up and back, hitting near enough to something sensitive that he took half a step back. She spun out of his grip, but knew she wouldn’t make the grab for her gunblade before he recovered, so she delivered a kick to his core instead. Zenos bent over, curling in from the force of her hit, but the grin on his face spoke volumes.

Rhela knew she had no hope of beating him, not as simultaneously exhausted and wound up as she was, and yet she dropped into a ready fighting stance, watching him warily as he straightened up. He dressed more simply than she was used to seeing him. No armor, no fancy sheath, just plain clothing and a single katana worn across his back.

Zenos chuckled. “Not tonight, warrior.” He sheathed his katana without ever taking his eyes off her. For a long, uncomfortable moment, he just looked at her expectantly.

“You should leave, before someone finds you here.” Rhela turned her back to him, though every instinct in her body screamed at her for it, and retrieved her gunblade from where it had fallen earlier before crossing the stone pathway to her pack. She was counting, likely foolishly, on his desire for a good fight to keep her safe while she pulled out her waterskin. The muscles between her shoulders knotted under his gaze as she drank, expecting to feel a blade there at any moment.

For a man of his size, it was astounding how quickly and quietly he was able to move. She nearly jumped when she turned and found him almost on top of her again. Her heart pounded in her chest as she craned her neck to look up at him. His fingers brushed the dark scales along her jawline, the entirely too intimate touch making her shiver, but she made no move to pull away.

“One day soon, I will hear you scream for me.” The words sounded more like a promise than a threat. Rhela was trapped in the intensity of his gaze, hardly daring to breathe.

The distant cry of some wild animal broke the spell she was under and she backed away quickly. Zenos made no move to stop her as she grabbed her pack and whistled loudly to summon her Yol from its perch on the tower above. Zenos still hadn’t moved, just stood there watching her, while she jumped on the giant bird’s back and took off.

\----

For two days the warrior of light tried, in vain, to convince herself that she was not nervous about running into Zenos again. She stayed away from the gardens for two nights, spending her time running errands and slaying wild beasts. On the third night, she circled the terrace and watched from the back of her mount. It appeared exactly as she had left it, no signs of Zenos. 

Rhela slid from the bird’s back, landing lightly on the worn stone pathway, and then whistled it away. She dropped her pack and shrugged out of her cloak; the night air chilled her skin, but she knew she would warm up quickly once she started moving. No one was up here to see her in only chest bindings and linen tights, anyway. She kicked off her boots and padded across the hot sandstone towards the striking dummy.

This time, Zenos made no efforts to conceal his arrival. Heavy footfalls announced his presence, though she could feel his stare on her before she ever registered the sound.

“I come up here to be alone, you know.”

He came to a stop some distance behind her; not yet close enough to touch, but she knew that he could close the gap between them in an instant. She kept her back turned as she stretched her arms over her head and rolled her neck. If he wanted to watch her train, so be it.

“An interesting choice of venue.”

She had no retort for that. She had seen a reflection of herself in him, at the end, and believed he had seen the same in her. For days after his death she had mourned him here, far safer than visiting the grave where they had interred his body. No one could see how much the Warrior of Light had been affected by the death of her opponent.

Rhela threw a couple of quick jabs at the dummy, then started on a basic combination that Lyse had shown her. Hand to hand combat was not her specialty, but she had been practicing anyway at Lyse’s encouragement. She wouldn’t win any fights, but she could at least defend herself if she were disarmed.

“Your form is deplorable.”

A colorful string of expletives ran through her head, but she bit them all back and continued the sequence of punches and kicks. He granted her a few minutes of silence, broken only by the sound of her strikes.

“Stick with magic, it suits you better.”

The self-control she had been using to ignore his presence finally snapped and Rhela spun to face him, stalking across the terrace to where he leaned against a railing. Her entire body burned with irritation and embarrassment, and his smirk only served to set her further ablaze.

“I did not ask for your gods damned running commentary,” she hissed when she halted in front of him, fists clenched at her sides. “Leave.”

Zenos straightened off the wall, then, and leaned over her; she dug her fingernails into her palms to keep herself from backing up. They stared each other down, neither willing to yield the meaningless battle. Rhela’s jaw ached from how hard she clenched her teeth, but he somehow still looked smug and relaxed.

He started to reach for her, his hand coming up to her face, and she tried to jerk her head away, but he was faster. His fingers crushed into her jaw, forcing her to look up at him, meet his piercing blue gaze. Her breath caught in her throat as he pulled her closer, almost near enough to… Rhela licked her lips subconsciously, imagining what it would feel like if she were to just rise up on her toes and take what she wanted.

“Let me teach you.” He interrupted her train of thought and her brows furrowed in confusion as she tried to work out what he was suggesting. “If you want to fight,” he released his grip on her, but didn’t move away, “then let me teach you.”

Rhela narrowed her eyes at him, searched his face for signs of a trick, but found none. “Why?”

“My motivation is entirely selfish.”

Understanding dawned on her. It should have been an uncomfortable thought, but she found she understood it. What point was there in defeating something that didn’t present a challenge? Training with him would be a unique opportunity for her, as well. She could study him up close, learn his strengths and weaknesses for the inevitable. And she couldn’t deny that the chance to spend time with him was an attractive prospect in and of itself. She betrayed none of that in her response.

“Fine.”

Zenos pushed her, far harder than anyone else would have, and harder even than she would have pushed herself. He kept her at it for hours, with constant correction and criticism delivered in his insufferably smug tone. Her arms felt like dead weight when he finally called her off. The muscles in her shoulders and back protested every movement she made as she fished water from her pack and crossed the terrace to sit on the edge overlooking the peaks outside the city.

She had always loved the night sky in the desert the best; there were no trees, no mountains to block her view of the stars, just an endless inky black expanse that glittered with millions of little lights. Rhela put her arms around her legs, resting her chin on her knees. The slight breeze felt like heaven on her sweat-soaked back. Much to her surprise, Zenos joined her. He sat with one leg dangling over the edge, the other leg crooked and resting on the stone, and leaned against the merlon behind him. It was a precarious position for both of them. That they had both settled into it so easily was either a sign of trust or stupidity, possibly both.

“Why here?”

Rhela considered for a moment, half tempted to tell him the truth, but then thought better of it. “How did you know to look for me here?”

Zenos closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the pillar. “Lacking any worthy hunt, I would return to the place I found satisfaction.”

She snorted to hide the surge of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. “Do you think you are the only challenger worthy of me? You flatter yourself.”

Of all the opponents she had faced in her time as the Warrior of Light, Rhela had faced no one who had tested her the way Zenos had. She still bore the scars of their battles, both physically and mentally. Their fight in Rhalgr’s Reach had nearly destroyed her. The desperation of throwing everything she had at him over and over again, all in vain, left her exhausted and nearly hopeless. Other fights had tested her abilities, but none quite so strenuously.

“Tell me of your trials, Eikon Slayer.”

Eikon Slayer. Rhela smiled softly. It was her favorite of the titles she had earned, but it only ever seemed to be used by her enemies. Fitting that Zenos should utter it in a tone that bordered on reverent. 

“If you insist. I had just barely begun my journey as an adventurer when the Amalj’aa - the beastmen - summoned their Primal, Ifrit…”

She was not a gifted storyteller, but Zenos listened without interruption, and looked almost at peace.

\----

Air rushed from her lungs in an undignified “oof” as Rhela’s back hit the ground again, followed nearly immediately by Zenos’s boot on her chest.

“It is a wonder you have managed to survive this long.”

She lacked the breath to do anything but glare up at him. It had only been two nights and already he had grown bored with instruction and decided the best way for her to learn was by doing. Fresh bruises blossomed across most of her visible skin, and she knew there would be more when she peeled off her tights later. Still, when he offered a hand to help her up, she took it.

“You’re meant to be teaching me,” she grumbled, almost under her breath.

Zenos smirked. “Learn faster.” He took a couple of steps back, giving her space to launch a new attack. “Come on, then, warrior.”

Over and over again she tried, and every time she ended up flat on her back gasping for breath.

Zenos gripped her arm to throw her back, sending her flying as if she were a rag doll. Rhela tried to catch herself and heard the sickening pop as her shoulder dislocated. Pain exploded in her shoulder, followed immediately by pain in her nose as her face hit the stone. She rolled onto her side, then to her knees, with a groan.

Blood dripped from her nose and the corner of her mouth as she got to her feet, cradling her now-useless right arm against her chest. She swayed on her feet, but still forced herself to move back towards him. Some part of her knew that she had taken too much, that she needed to call it off, but she refused to back down until he did.

“Here.” Zenos reached for her when she got close enough, pulling and turning her until she had her back pressed against him. Rhela bit back a cry as he braced and turned her arm, rotating it back into place. It always somehow hurt worse going back in than it did coming out. His touch lingered too long, goosebumps rose in the trail his fingers made from her forearm to the curve of scales on her upper arm. It took all her remaining strength to pull away and not give in to her burgeoning arousal.

Anxiety crawled its way up her throat as they faced each other, her tail twitching behind her. What was she doing here? And what about him? They had a war to fight. Against each other. She couldn’t even tell if the attraction was mutual or hers alone.

Something in his face changed slightly, a barely perceptible softening in his gaze, but Rhela saw it. And then he turned away suddenly, making his way towards the terrace’s edge. With that, they were apparently finished for the evening. Ending the night with her poor retellings of her battles with the primals had become something of a routine.

Rhela sat with both legs over the edge, her tail curled around her body defensively, chewing her lip while they sat in silence. She should have left and not come back here after the first night. Too late for that now.

“Our first meeting...” She turned her head to look at him, but Zenos was staring out into the night. “You had that same look. Had I not ended it when I did, you would have fought to your death.”

She had stood against him with robes and staff, taken hit after hit from both magic and blades, and continued throwing herself at him in mad desperation. If she had only been more powerful then, it might have changed everything. The bitter taste of defeat hadn’t faded with time. He was right, of course, she would have continued fighting until he killed her.

“Your mercy knows no bounds, your Radiance.” 

“I do try.”

Her tone dripped sarcasm, and his response matched. Rhela caught herself smiling, her earlier anxiety all but dissipated. What harm would one more night do?

“Another story?”

“Mm,” Zenos hummed affirmatively as he laid back, tucking one arm behind his head, and closed his eyes.

“You would have liked this one, actually…” Zenos cracked one eye to look over at her and Rhela shrugged. “Ravana, eikon of the Gnath. He also lived to fight and had a penchant for swords.”

As she told her story, she resolved that tomorrow would be the last night. This had to end, before she did something she would regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Join me and people who write a whole lot better than me at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv)


	2. Survival Instinct

“I can’t keep doing this.”  
  
The warrior of light picked at her nails, looking anywhere but in Zenos’s direction. Zenos offered nothing in response.  
  
“I’m not… I won’t come back here again.”  
  
His fingers trailed along the dark scales that covered her jaw, coming to rest under her chin, and he turned her face up towards his own. “There is nowhere you can go where I will not pursue you.” His hunt, and his alone. Zenos would not let her slip away again. Though a fire burned within him, he kept his expression calm. “Did you imagine I would let you leave so easily?”  
  
She pushed his hand away. Self preservation had never been her strong suit. The muscles in his jaw tensed and he narrowed his eyes at her. It was clear to him how much she wanted this, wanted him even. She couldn’t push him away so easily. He didn’t know what responsibilities she was shirking by being here, and he didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was their next inevitable clash.  
  
“I wasn’t asking permission.”  
  
His anger flared and he grabbed for her, his hand tangling in the hair at the back of her head and pulling until she bared her teeth and hissed in pain. Little beast. His other hand wrapped around her throat and squeezed. Even in the darkness of the night, he could see her pupils dilate. Was that fear, or something else?  
  
Their size difference gave him a near-insurmountable advantage, but the Warrior of Light was strong. Much stronger now than he remembered. She brought both hands to his arm, the bite of her nails into his skin distracted him briefly and she took advantage of that to kick him. The force was enough to cause his knee to buckle and he fell to it. Almost simultaneously, she dragged at his elbow to break his grip on her throat. Endorphins flooded his system and he nearly shuddered with pleasure.  
  
Though she had brought him to one knee and partially freed herself, he still had one hand in her hair, enough to keep her at arm’s length even as she tried to continue her attack. She missed her target, but one particularly savage kick connected with his upper thigh. In response, he drove his fist into her stomach. She tried to twist away and he felt the crack of her ribs as he connected.  
  
Zenos knew that her body couldn’t take that hit despite her strength, knew he had done nothing to pull his punch, and did not care. He released her hair and stood fully as she doubled over, landing on her hands and knees and curling her body in against the pain. He expected, demanded, more from her, and his little beast delivered. A feral grin split his face as she pushed herself up to her knees, then to her feet. Defiance radiated from her posture.  
  
Every muscle in her body remained tense despite her wheezing breaths and he could almost see her mind working to plan her attack. He would never give voice to the thought, but she was perfect. Made for him. Her eyes flicked to his left, giving away her move, but as soon as he started to move himself she leapt backward and out of his reach. She started to dart away towards her pack, and her weapons. Clever.  
  
Zenos lunged for her, one arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her off her feet to throw her to the ground. She shouted her frustration, but continued scrambling away from him. Maybe he’d even let her get there. His steps were deliberate, he was in no rush. Even as her hand closed on something, he didn’t register it as a threat.  
  
It wasn’t until a crack split the air that he realized what she had raised against him. A line of fire blazed across his shoulder where she’d shot him and he almost laughed. It was little more than a graze, but it had been enough to stop his forward motion. Zenos pressed one hand over the wound, his ears still ringing, and watched the giant bird she favored swoop in. She pulled herself gracelessly onto its back, staring at him for a long moment before taking off into the night.  
  
A swirl of conflicting emotions ran through his head as he watched her disappear. He was tempted to hunt her down tonight and finish what they had started. But he had been patient, and could wait a bit longer. She could have have a few nights to recover, to lie awake wondering if and when he would come for her. If she chose not to return here, then he would find her.  
  


\----

  
  
“You travelled from Ala Mhigo like this?” Krile’s tone was equal parts incredulous and annoyed.  
  
Rhela hissed as the healer poked at her bruised ribs. Definitely at least one break in there. She could have gone to Rhalgr’s Reach, they would have treated her there without question, but there were few she trusted as much as Krile.  
  
“My sparring partner got carried away.” Her voice trembled on the lie.  
  
“Your sparring partner.” Her voice was flat. It was clear she didn’t believe a word Rhela was saying. Krile pressed down over her injured ribs and Rhela snarled through clenched teeth.  
  
Aether flooded her system, easing some of the pain and repairing the damage Zenos had done. She didn’t know the extent of the internal damage, but it must have been bad based on Krile’s face.  
  
“You need to rest. Take some time off. And find a new ‘sparring’ partner.”  
  
“Thank you, Krile.”  
  
The healer offered a curt nod, then turned sharply and left the room. Rhela breathed a heavy sigh. This was the first time she had returned to Revenant’s Toll in weeks. Rhela leaned back onto the rough sheets and closed her eyes. She would take a few days, rest, catch up with the other Scions. And pray Zenos hadn’t followed her.  
  


\----

  
  
“Rhela!” Alisaie’s bright tone should have cheered her up, but she found herself wincing. She pulled her haori tighter around her and forced a smile before turning to face the girl, just in time to see the elezen launch herself at her. Rhela caught her in a hug, but even the light pressure on her ribs was too much.  
  
“Ow, Alisaie please!”  
  
Alisaie jumped back and looked her over frantically. Her mouth dropped open in shock. Rhela knew she was a sight with her various bruises and scrapes, her split lip only partially healed.  
  
“Why.. What happened?! Has Krile seen you yet?”  
  
Rhela waved the girl off as best she could. “It’s… I’m okay, I promise. Got a little carried away, that’s all.”  
  
Alisaie crossed her arms over her chest, doing her best to look stern, and Rhela couldn’t help but laugh.  
  
“Come on, I’ll finish making tea and you can tell me what everyone has been doing without me.”  
  
Rhela collected the teapot and cups onto the tray, along with sugar and cream, and made her way to one of the tables on the terrace where Alisaie was already seated. She sipped her tea while the other girl talked her ear off, but her eyes kept flicking to every slight movement. Any moment now Zenos was going to appear. She was surprised he hadn’t already.  
  
“Rhela?”  
  
G’raha’s voice made her shake herself free of her thoughts. Somehow she had ended up holding court on the terrace, visiting with everyone that came through. “Sorry, what?”  
  
“How fare things in Bozja?”  
  
Oh, right. She was meant to be supporting the Bozjean rebellion against Garlemald. It had been blessedly quiet on that front, but that was the excuse she had used for her extended absence. Truthfully, she did frequently make the trip to check in, though that wasn’t what kept her away.  
  
“Slow, as most revolutions are.” Not entirely a lie. Even in Doma and Ala Mhigo, there had been a great deal of maneuvering and talk before the final liberating battle.  
  
“Forgive me, but you seem,” he hesitated as he searched for the right word, “distracted.”  
  
“Merely tired, G’raha. I am afraid I push myself too hard.” She smiled thinly, knowing that her tone was not the least bit sincere or believable. But how could she tell him, tell any of them, that she had been spending time with Zenos and failed to do anything? Better still, how could she explain that he hadn’t yet killed her?  
  
“You do, indeed.” His smile was genuine, and the lightness made her return the gesture. It was odd, still, to see him this young again, but possessed of all his wisdom and experience. He retained the same measured tone of age, but with youth’s optimism. He revered her for her heroism, but he was the better of them.  
  
“I will leave you to rest, my friend. Try not to let Alisaie talk you to death.” With a conspiratorial wink, he pushed himself from the table and disappeared inside, leaving Rhela on her own on the terrace.  
  
Zenos gave her two more nights, just enough for her to almost breathe, before he finally came for her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Join me and people who write a whole lot better than me at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv)


	3. Helpless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say we would get to the smut eventually.
> 
> CW: Dubious Consent, Choking, Coercion
> 
>  **Please note:** There is nothing safe, sane, or healthy about this. Fantasy is okay as long as you know it’s just that.

Three nights after she had shot Zenos in the Menagerie, Rhela had still hardly dared venture from the Rising Stones. She made trips between there and Rowena’s, stopping occasionally in the market, but always heavily cloaked in the hopes of concealing her identity. Garlemald still had eyes everywhere, and it seemed entirely possible that Zenos would have someone looking for her.

Rhela felt his presence the moment she exited the Rising Stones. She looked up to see him watching her from the other side of the Aetherite. He towered over nearly everyone in the plaza, and had done nothing to conceal his identity other than appearing after dark. How he had managed to avoid drawing attention was a mystery.

She didn’t need to look to know that Zenos had followed her out of Revenant’s Toll. By the time she picked her way off the main road and into the cover of the old camp, every nerve in her body vibrated. She was armed. She should be doing something, anything, other than standing and waiting for Zenos to approach. She was rooted to the spot as his footsteps crunched across the ground towards her, each one making her tense a little more, until they stopped.

Fingers closed around the cowl of her cloak and tugged it down, but the chill that ran through her had nothing to do with the breeze. Fear formed a lump in her throat and she shivered at the brush of his fingers along the back of her neck.

“Have you no fight left? You disappoint me.”

“If you’re here to kill me, then do it.” Her voice was a harsh whisper, but at least it didn’t tremble.

“No.” With a hand in her hair he turned her to face him. “You will not take this triumph from me. Your life, your death, your very soul are mine.”

It was wrong, but the words felt so right as he said them. She almost caught herself nodding, looking up into his piercing blue eyes. The eyes of an apex predator, her predator.

He had leaned towards her as he spoke, bringing her closer, though he still towered over her. Before she could think better of it, Rhela reached for the collar of his shirt and dragged him down as she leaned up on her toes. Her lips crashing against his caught them both by surprise. She was demanding, tongue pressing at the seam of his mouth until he opened to her. Like every touch between them, their kiss felt like barely contained violence.

Zenos wrapped his other arm around her, lifting her up until she wrapped her legs over his hips to balance her own weight. When his hand found the curve of her bottom and squeezed, she moaned and pulled herself tighter against him. Her teeth grazed his lower lip as she pulled away, breathing hard.

“Zenos…”

“Tell me.” His grip tightened on her, his lips and teeth making a trail down the line of her throat from just below the curve of her horn. His teeth closed on the join of her neck and shoulder, drawing a cry from her.

“Ah! Please, I need—”

She felt the curve of his lips as he smirked against her skin. “Out here?” A shiver of desire ran its way down her spine. “Do you want me to take you like the beast you are?”

Rhela moaned, intoxicated for a moment by the low rumble of his voice, until she processed what he was saying. “N-no, not out here. Someone might…” He set her back on unsteady feet before she finished.

“Come.” He took her hand and pulled her back to the path, heading away from Revenant’s Toll. She didn’t bother with the hood on her cloak, no one would be traveling the road to the now-empty castrum. It was a longer walk than she had remembered, made longer by the silence between them. As they drew closer, she was surprised to hear the faint hum of magitek carrying over the imposing outer walls. Had the Imperial army returned while Eorzea’s attention had been elsewhere?

“Put the hood back up.” Zenos spoke quietly, as if to avoid being heard, though they were still some distance from the gate. Rhela narrowed her eyes at him slightly. “You put it back up, or you come in as my prisoner. I wonder how long your savages will have hope when word gets out that the Warrior of Light has fallen.”

The threat was a stark reminder of their reality, and of how much she was risking. She pulled her cowl back up as far as she could, but she would have to walk with her head down.

The gate slid open as they approached the wall and Rhela risked a quick glance up. They operated quietly, with far fewer troops, but the Garleans were still very much here. She had to bite back a curse at the sight. Zenos might have abandoned his father’s campaign, but the war machine still churned.

“Your Radiance!” The gate guard stammered and stumbled his way through a salute and greeting that went entirely ignored. Zenos didn’t break stride once on the path from the outer gate to his destination; troops either scattered well in advance of his approach, or anticipated his movements well enough to be able to open doors ahead of him. It would have been impressive if she hadn’t known that it was terror that motivated them. She kept her head down, but Rhela did not miss the questioning looks that followed them every step of the way through the castrum’s halls.

Eventually, after a number of turns around corners and down hallways that all looked identical to her, Zenos stopped in front of a door at the end of a hall. She heard the beeping of a keypad, and the door slid open to reveal a bedchamber. While she wasn’t surprised, a small spike of panic shot through her. Too late to turn around now, even had she wanted to.

\----

The Warrior of Light pushed the hood of her cloak back as the door slid shut behind her. She was pretty, for a beast, but it was the defiant set to her jaw, the barely-checked violence behind her eyes, that had attracted him to her. When she stood against him in the savage’s camp, surrounded by death and bloody destruction, and did not break, he had known that he would accept no other hunt but hers.

The warrior unlaced her cloak with trembling fingers, the only indication of her nerves, and slid out of the garment to reveal more or less what he had grown used to seeing her wear. Rather than a chest wrap she had a black singlet top, but the well-worn linen bottoms were the same. He caught the faintest hint of a blush on her cheeks.

When she unholstered the gunblade on her back, Zenos stepped forward and wrapped his hand over hers. He didn’t think she would shoot him, but wouldn’t make that mistake a second time. She surrendered her weapon without protest and he leaned it against the wall by the door.

“Take the rest of it off.”

Her blush deepened as she peeled off her clothes. Zenos traced the scars that marked her skin, idly wondering how many of them were his. Her breath hitched when he touched the bruises over her rib cage, but she didn’t pull away. One hand closed around her hip and pushed her back against the wall, her breath coming out in a tiny gasp. She arched into his touch as his hand slid up to her chest, thumb brushing over one tightly budded nipple, then further until his fingers touched her lips.

It took no prompting for her to suck the first two digits into her mouth. She moaned softly around his fingers and he felt his own arousal strain at the sound. He fought back a groan as he pushed deeper, down her throat, and she opened her mouth fully to give him access. “Filthy little beast,” he purred, watching her swallow around his fingers, drool spilling over her lips. “Maybe I’ll let you taste my cock later.” She moaned in response, her pupils blown so wide they almost touched the glowing outer rings of her eyes.

\----

All rational and coherent thought had long since fled, leaving Rhela at the mercy of her base desires. Her thighs were sticky with her fluids, but Zenos had made no movements towards her lower body. She ached for him, but with his fingers shoved halfway down her throat she couldn’t even beg. She reached blindly for him and he caught her hand, pressing it to the bulge in his pants.

She had expected Zenos to be big everywhere, but she had not fully considered the implications of their size difference until the evidence was in her hand. There was no way she could take that without injury. The sudden realization made her choke on his fingers and she tried to pull back, but only succeeded in bumping her head into the wall behind her. She coughed out a gasp when he pulled his hand away from her mouth and tears spilled down her cheeks to join the mess of spit that he had caused.

“Zenos I can’t...” She realized she was still touching him and pulled her hand away, shaking her head. “No.”

“No?” He leaned into her, one arm on the wall beside her head, caging her in. “I don’t think you mean that.”

Just the tips of his fingers skated across her collar bone, down her sternum to her stomach, and still further to the top of her slit where he stopped. She whimpered in her frustration at not being touched.

"Please, it's too... I can't--" Her voice cut out on a moan as his finger finally dipped between her folds.

"You can and you will. But please, feel free to keep begging."

Despite the wetness that dripped from her, she was entirely unprepared for the sudden shove of his fingers into her core, the rough intrusion forcing a cry from her. She leaned onto her toes and reached up for him, hands fisting into the fabric of his shirt. Another thrust of his hand drew a gasp, and then a moan as he added a third finger. The stretch hovered on the border between pleasure and pain. And she needed more.

"Please, Zenos..."

His strokes were languid, unhurried. And the sound. Gods, she could hear how wet she was for him. She squirmed her hips harder against his hand and felt a huff of breath ruffle her hair.

"Beg, little beast."

"I need... ah-" he curled his fingers inside her, stroking her most sensitive places, places that had gone untouched for too long. Casual romps with other adventurers were fine, but foreplay was rare and satisfaction was rarer still. She pulled herself closer, burying her face against his shirt to hide the burning shame on her face. "More, please. Make me hurt."

\----

Again Zenos was struck by how much stronger she seemed now. She fought him ilm by bloody ilm as he wrestled her to the floor, one slap caught him by surprise and left lines of blood across his cheek. He had laughed and she had snarled her response. All traces of humanity, had there ever been any to begin with, were gone. Even as he forced her down, pinning her with his weight as he straddled her hips, she lashed out… And all of it made him want her more.

He tilted his head slightly as he watched the color on her face begin to darken. How had such a pretty little thing ever thought she could challenge him? And yet she had. She had risen to his challenge, and even bested him in one perfect, immortal moment.

The panicked look in her eyes started to fade, glazing over as she was deprived of air. Her heartbeat fluttered under his fingers. He could kill her here, now. Watch the light in her eyes flicker and fade with his hand around her throat. Such an intimate death. But he knew he wouldn’t as soon as the thought crossed his mind. To destroy her would be to lose a piece of himself.

Zenos let his eyes drift shut to the sound of her first starved breath, reveling in the sound and feeling of her body coming back from the brink. She hadn’t been that close, not really, but that made no difference to her system.

“Please…”

He opened his eyes, not sure if he had actually heard her whisper. Her eyes were bloodshot, barely alive, but still focused firmly on him. The sight sent a shiver of pleasure racing down his spine.

“More?” She nodded weakly. In that moment, despite their positions, he was completely and utterly helpless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Join me and people who write a whole lot better than me at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv)


	4. Not Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the updated tags/warnings
> 
> Again, there is nothing safe, sane, or healthy here. This is pure fantasy ~~and not even a very good one~~.

Rhela’s head swam, mind hazy, and she wasn’t sure if it was the lack of air or just him. She had believed, for a moment, that Zenos truly meant to kill her. But then he had released his hold on her throat and she had asked for more. Something in her must have been truly broken that she would still want him.

He moved his weight off of her, settling on his knees between her legs. Her hips protested the strain of the position she was forced into to fit her legs around his hips. She didn’t dare look as he reached between them, but the tension gripped her anyway. Just the tip of him parted her and she was grateful that she was so wet, at least, even though she was sure it wasn’t going to help. She gasped his name as the head slid inside, already stretching her.

“Scream for me.”

Zenos sheathed himself inside her in one swift, brutal thrust, and scream she did. A hand on her hip held her firm as her back bowed, her hands clawing uselessly at any part of him she could reach. His answering snarl from somewhere above her was muffled and distant through the pain. He hadn’t even gotten his full length inside her and already she felt like she was being split in half. Her only reprieve was that he did not move within her right away.

She had dreamed of this, but her dreams paled in comparison to the reality of him. Zenos was not gentle, she hadn’t expected or even wanted him to be. Every move was powerful and deliberate, driving the air from her lungs in a cry on each thrust, and each time she took a little more of his length. Finally, somehow, there was no more to be forced in. She was drunk on the pain, her entire body suffused with it. 

The slightest roll of her hips brought a fresh wave of pain and pleasure, and she couldn’t help but do it again. Suddenly, hands on her hips and her legs around his waist weren’t enough, she needed more contact with him. She pulled herself up, despite the protesting strain in her lower body, until she was seated fully in his lap.

“Greedy little beast.” His voice was soft, and she could almost fool herself into thinking his tone was affectionate.

Her fingers tugged insistently at his shirt, fumbling and trembling until finally he sighed and tugged it off over his head. A breath caught in her throat at the sight of his bare skin. She had expected a few scars, certainly, but with his armor, she had thought he would be relatively unscathed. This… the sheer number was overwhelming. Lines of varying thickness and length crisscrossed nearly every inch of him that she could see, all clearly healed by a capable hand. She had so many questions.

She reached up, lightly brushing her fingers across the scar at his throat. _All your fault._ The thought was intrusive and she shoved it back, focusing instead on the heat of his skin under her touch.

Zenos wrapped his arms around her, one hand between her shoulders and the other gripping her ass hard enough to make her squirm. She responded in kind, grabbing a handful of hair at the nape of his neck and digging her nails into his shoulder blade.

“More.”

He groaned in response and she felt him throb within her. With his strength and her own weight now added, every movement was exquisite agony. Pain and pleasure muddled into one overwhelming, pulsing need. They became a constant feedback loop; the harder he drove into her the fiercer she became with teeth and claws, dragging his head back by his hair as she left bite marks across his chest and scraped her nails down his back, and the more she hurt him, the harder he fucked her.

_More._

Higher and higher they chased each other. Her bite drew blood and he snarled, snapping his hips up to meet hers so hard she thought she would shatter. With the copper tang still thick on her tongue she pulled him into a bloody kiss, aggressive and bruising. Two beasts snapping at each other in a vicious embrace.

And still she needed more.

She screamed her fury when he withdrew from her completely.

\----

The heady scent of sex and sweat. The edge of pain from nails and teeth. The sounds she made that bordered on feral. The vice grip of her inner walls around his cock. It all combined into one sensation that threatened to overwhelm him.

Zenos dumped her unceremoniously from his arms onto the bed. She leaned up on her elbows, watching him watch her, the room silent except for their breathing. Some emotion he couldn’t name stirred in his chest, an irritating ache that he didn’t have the faintest notion how to deal with. His lip curled at his own thoughts, and he grabbed her hip to flip her onto her stomach. She rose up to her hands and knees and crawled backwards to the edge of the bed. Her back dipped slightly and her tail curled across one thigh, the blue-black scales standing out in stark contrast to her tanned skin. He ran his fingers down her spine to her lower back, pushing and forcing her to arch further. She whined slightly, the press of her hips betraying her desire.

_More._

She keened long and low as he pressed slowly into her. Maddeningly slowly. Denying both of their urges to savor the torture of it. Until at last, he was fully within her, skin against skin. Her body shuddered under him. The little beast turned to look at him over her shoulder, one white eye catching his over the curve of her horn, all traces of defiance gone.

One hand closed around the back of her neck to press her face and chest into the bed covers, muffling the sounds she made as he slammed his hips into her at the peak of every thrust. Her cunt dragged at his length, leaving trails of sticky arousal tinged pink with blood. His other hand closed over her hip, his grip hard enough that she bucked against him in an attempt to free herself, but he only leaned his weight harder into the arm that pinned her neck.

Nothing could reach him through the mindless drive towards his own completion. Not the way she suddenly stilled under him just before she came apart, bearing down on him in spasms so hard they bordered on painful. Not the sweet sound of her scream as she arched into her orgasm. Not the cries as he crossed the threshold of pleasure into pain, or the way her body fought against him while he held her down.

_More._

He was only vaguely aware of the turn of her head, the way his name rolled off her tongue as she begged. Begged for what? The words didn’t register. He looked down at her, saw the redness in the outer white of her eye, the tears trailing down her cheek, her lips parted as she panted.

Release coiled at the base of his spine, his balls tightening painfully, and his thrusts became erratic. He roared through clenched teeth as he came, fire screaming through every nerve in his body. His cock pulsed within her, spilling his seed as deeply as it could go. Marking her. 

His beast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Join me and people who write a whole lot better than me at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv)


	5. Stay

If it hadn’t been for the feeling of being watched, Rhela might have thought Zenos had fallen asleep. His breathing was steady, quiet. No indication that he’d just utterly shattered her. He had pulled out almost as soon as he’d finished to drop onto the bed beside her. Rhela was still shaking, curled nearly into a fetal position, and facing away from him as blood and cum and the remnants of her own juices leaked out onto her thighs. The tearing would be easy to heal, she could do that herself, but the emptiness ached to her bones. She had begged him to stop. Had she meant it?

The bed shifted as he moved closer to her. Rhela flinched when his hand landed gently on the back of her head. If he noticed, he chose not to acknowledge it. Fingers stroked through her short-cropped hair soothingly, if she could forget the damage those hands were capable of. She drew a shaky breath, uncurling herself slightly. She had to get out of here. Get away from him.

“Where are you going?” He asked before she had even made a move to get up, as though he had read her mind.

“I can’t stay.”

Zenos hummed thoughtfully. “I’m not done with you yet.”

Her stomach twisted, but she also found herself shivering with anticipation. She wanted to run, to get as far from him as physically possible, but at the same time she was drawn to him, would be drawn back to him even if she did leave. Rhela didn’t know what she wanted.

Zenos tugged her up next to him and wrapped one arm around her waist possessively. The way she was curled, her entire body nearly fit against his torso. Her thoughts chased themselves in circles. She wanted him to hurt her, and he had more than obliged. Even if she had said stop - maybe she had, she wasn’t sure - how could she fault him for not knowing her limits when she didn’t know herself?

“Zenos—“

“Stay.”

Rhela stiffened at the demanding edge to his voice. He had to know she couldn’t. There was no reason for him to want her to stay, either. Whatever post-coital daze he was in would fade. She had to leave. His arm was loosely wrapped around her; she could get out from under him, but she would have to make it across the room to the door. And then back through the halls. Out of the castrum. At the very least she would have to find somewhere to hide long enough to teleport herself. He’d stop her if she tried it in here, she was sure.

She couldn’t run. Not in her current condition. If she wanted to leave she was going to have to stop him first. Could she make the grab for her weapon before he reacted?

“I can hear you thinking, little beast.” Zenos traced his fingers along the lower curve of her abs, then down to graze her inner thigh. She started to whine in protest, but the sound turned into a soft moan when his middle digit found her clit. He couldn’t be ready for another round yet. She wouldn’t be able to take him again so soon.

“Please...”

He shushed her, adjusting her position with gentle nudges until she lay on her back with one leg trapped under his thigh to keep her spread. He propped himself on his forearm to look down at her, while his other hand continued to draw lazy circles around that bundle of nerves.

“Plotting how to get away from me?” She turned her face away from him, unable to hide her thoughts but unwilling to acknowledge them. “How far could you get if I let you go right now? To the door? Back out to the gates? I’ll even tell the guards not to stop you.”

His touch, far more tender and skilled than he had any right to be, coaxed a moan from her.

“If you want to be hunted down, you need only ask.” His voice was almost a purr; smooth and seductive, if entirely depraved.

Rhela bit back a gasp, some primal part of her sparking to the idea of running and being chased. Wrong, all wrong, but then, everything about this was wrong. And yet... He shifted his hand to slide one finger inside her, and she rocked her hips up to meet his touch, grinding against his palm. She hated herself for the rush of wetness when he curled his finger inside her and the way she clung to his shoulder, hated the desperate, wanton noises that escaped her.

“Tell me you want to leave. Say the word and I’ll stop.” He pressed firmly against the overly sensitive place inside her and she saw stars, toes curling as her back arched off the bed. In some deep recess of her mind she understood what he was doing, but she couldn’t make herself care enough to fight it. “Say. It.”

“Please! Don’t... don’t stop.”

The satisfied turn of his lips was almost enough to push her over the edge; another deft movement of his hand finished her. It was one thing to have climaxed while he pounded into her from behind, screaming her release into the sheets, and quite another to have him watching her face while he pulled her orgasm from her. Her mouth opened in a silent cry; blood rushed so loudly in her ears that she couldn’t hear the words he murmured as she came. He held his hand firm against her, letting her ride out the last waves of her pleasure.

Weak and caught in the intensity of post orgasm, she turned to move herself closer to him. Aftershocks made her twitch when he pulled his hand from between her thighs. He shifted to his back, drawing her against his side with an arm around her shoulders. She hadn’t forgotten about leaving, but it seemed less urgent now.

If she could forget for a moment who he was, and they were to each other, it was nice having someone hold her. His solid mass could have been reassuring, safe. She wanted to ignore the voice in the back of her mind that was reminding her of the way he had held her down and taken his pleasure, of how dangerous he truly was. She wanted to forget, just for a little while.

——

Rhela woke with a sharp gasp and scrambled off the bed. She hadn’t meant to sleep, and had no way to tell how long she’d been out. What had woken her, she couldn’t say, but adrenaline had shot through her like lightning. She had to get out, now.

On the other side of the bed, Zenos had woken as well, though he made no move to get up. He watched her tentative steps as she crossed the room to the door, pulling on her cloak and retrieving her gunblade without taking her eyes off of him. She balled up the rest of her clothing and tucked it under her arm. Still, he had not moved.

Adrenaline made it difficult to focus on teleporting and she had to try a couple of times to draw on the aether. Their eyes met as she disappeared into the stream, but his face was entirely unreadable.

Rhela appeared back in Revenant’s Toll in the predawn hours and crossed the plaza back to the Rising Stones. Twelve willing, everyone would still be asleep and there would be no one to see her sneaking in. There was no reasonable explanation for her disappearance and she didn’t have the energy to come up with one. Unfortunately, the gods were not kind.

“Rough night?” Krile spoke without even looking up from her book and Rhela cringed inwardly. Of course she would be up this early.

"I'm... I'll be fine." 

Krile hummed in response. Rhela needed to heal herself, and she desperately needed a bath. She was not fine, and did not know when or if she would be again, but she had no way to explain that without explaining where she had been. Her various aches and injuries were starting to wake up after the initial rush of adrenaline, nearly making her limp. 

Heal, bathe, sleep. She just had to get through the basic tasks. Then she could figure out how to move forward from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Join me and people who write a whole lot better than me at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv)


	6. Yield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally two chapters but I didn't like the way it was broken up, so it's a longer one than normal. Enjoy!

"My Lord?"

Zenos glanced up from the documents piled on the table in front of him, that he had been staring at blankly for the last bell. There was meant to be something in the pile on the rebellions in... some savage territory or another. None of it pertained to his hunt, and so he did not care for it. Though it was mildly surprising that his beast was not already at the front lines of this one, supporting the savages, as seemed to be her life's purpose.

"There are Eorzean troops approaching the Eastern gate."

Well, she certainly didn't waste time. That it was only troops arriving told him she had likely omitted his presence. Interesting. Either she only aimed to push the Imperial presence from Eorzea, or she was attempting to flush him out and into a confrontation. Was she ready to fight so soon? No, she wouldn't be.

"What are you doing, my beast?" He murmured to himself, having already forgotten the guard standing in the doorway.

"Sir, the Eorzeans?"

He didn't care. They could have the castrum. Zenos stood suddenly and the guard visibly recoiled. If she was out there, he would answer her challenge. If not, he would remind her what happened to those foolish enough to take up arms against him. The guard followed him, sputtering something about needing to leave. The halls were left empty, everyone having gone to the wall to defend the position, so there was nothing to slow him down as he made his way to the gate and then up the guard tower.

The contingent was small, not nearly enough to take the castrum if they faced any kind of real resistance. But then, they had their champion. She was the only one that mattered, but much to his disappointment she was wielding a staff. He had no interest in fighting her like that; he wanted her up close and personal, and she likely knew it. Likely counted on it. She looked up at him, as though she felt his eyes on her and knew exactly where he was, but she was the only one who seemed to notice his presence.

“Let them have it.” Zenos turned to make his way back down the tower.

“Sir?”

“Let the savages have it. Or stay and die defending it. It matters little to me.”

He left the guard sputtering in his wake as he descended the steps.

\------

The first Imperial ship departed, no doubt with Zenos on board, with no shots fired. A number of others soon followed. She hadn’t expected much of a fight to retake the castrum, but it was satisfying to have the Imperials flee with no fight at all. The risk she had taken doing this was stupid, and it was a relief that it had gone so well. Had Zenos chosen to take the field... she shuddered to think what might have happened.

“Castrum Centri is clear.”

Rhela nodded at the Flame soldier who had spoken, but she couldn’t share the enthusiasm of the small group that had joined her on this little excursion. The Scions had not been thrilled by her insistence that she lead, and more than a few of them were too curious about her knowledge that the castrum was occupied again. Her little band of Eorzean alliance fighters made their way back to Revenant’s Toll, with her trailing along behind. They would all go their separate ways from there, though she had yet to decide what was next for her.

“That was... fast, even for you.”

Rhela grinned at Alphinaud as she slid into the seat across from him, pint in hand. “They saw me coming and ran.”

The twins looked at each other and Alisaie shrugged. “I told you there was no point in us going.”

Everyone had been bored since their return, Alisaie especially. Rhela understood. They had gone from being in the light of a constant threat, to absolutely nothing happening that required their attention. She would have been bored too, if not for whatever mess she had gotten herself into with Zenos. He would come for her again, she was certain of it. It was simply a question of how and when. She should have killed him and been done with it. That’s what a smarter person would have done. A better Warrior of Light. But gods, she was so tired of all the killing.

“What now, then?”

Rhela took a sip of her ale and hummed as she considered. Though she wasn’t needed per se on the Bozjean southern front, she would be useful there. Kugane was convenient to both Eorzea and Bozja, she could set up at the inn there for a while. She would have to stop by Ala Mhigo on the way to collect the rest of her things. She would travel conspicuously, make it easy to be found. If she did that, then maybe Zenos wouldn’t do too much damage on his path to her.

“Back to Bozja, help where I can there.” Fortunately, the Scions and the Eorzean alliance were not yet involved in that particular fray. She would have her privacy. “Probably set up in Kugane for now.”

“I wish we could join you.” G’raha had appeared at the table with his own drink, and they all raised hands or glasses in greeting.

“One day, G’raha. I did promise you an adventure.”

A sudden bolt of anxiety shot through her. Fear that they’d never get that adventure. That something, some conflict or enemy, would always come first. She couldn’t take him to Bozja with her, but she wished for a moment that she could. G’raha deserved to feel like a proper hero, not just one of the many that supported her journey from a distance.

The twins were having a very animated discussion about something, but G’raha had noticed her frown.

“Rhela. I will be here, I’m not going anywhere.”

He had entirely misinterpreted her expression, but she didn’t know how to tell him that it wasn’t fear of him leaving, just fear of her own shortcomings. She forced a smile.

“I know, G’raha. I never doubted you.” His ears wiggled in that little way they did when he was pleased, and her smile turned genuine. “I saw that.”

G’raha blushed and tried to hide his embarrassment in his cup, making everyone else at the table laugh. Would that it was always like this. No Warrior of Light, no Scions, just a group of adventurers waiting for their next quest. But the threat of the next major conflict hovered like a dark cloud on the horizon. Everyone waited anxiously for the Empire to make their next move, hesitant to draw them into all-out war, but knowing all the same that it was coming. Better that she leave soon and keep Zenos on the move. Give everyone else one less thing to worry about.

\------

Two days and nights in the field. Rhela was filthy and exhausted when she returned to the Bokairo Inn. She was very much looking forward to a long soak in the hot springs. Unfortunately, someone else seemed to have a different idea.

“Miss?”

She sighed heavily and turned to the source of the voice and found a young girl, brandishing a sealed note.

“A man told me to wait here for a white-haired dragon. You’re the only one I’ve seen.”

Rhela regarded the girl, and the note, carefully. “Did you open it?”

The girl shook her head. “No, miss. He paid me extra not to.”

Rhela believed she had been paid, but not that the note hadn’t been read at least once.

“Who gave it to you?”

“A man in the market.”

Make that twice. Rhela still didn’t reach for the note. If it was anything official, the Scions would have sent word through Hancock, who would have insisted on meeting in person. Whoever sent this was trying to conceal themselves. Zenos briefly came to mind, but if he were here she didn’t doubt he would be waiting for her in her inn room. Subtlety and discretion did not seem to be his strength. In which case, there was no need to bother with the note.

“What did he look like?”

“Just a normal man, I guess.” The girl shrugged. “Do you want the note or not?”

Rhela clicked her tongue against her teeth in irritation, but fished in the pocket of her coat for a few Gil, anyway, and traded them to the girl for the note. The girl took off without another word, making her think she had just been thoroughly fleeced. It was probably just a blank piece of paper.

Her room was still closed up, everything exactly the way she had left it. She dropped the note on the table before stripping out of her clothing and armor down to her smalls. She wrinkled her nose at the smell. She would have to stop and ask the innkeeper to send someone to collect her laundry.

As she pulled on her robe to head down to the spring baths, she glanced at the note. Plain looking paper and unmarked red wax seal. That girl had sold her a blank note, and Rhela had been tired enough to fall for it. She huffed a quiet laugh at herself as she walked out of her room.

By the time she returned an hour later, she had almost forgotten about the paper. She should have been dead tired, but the hot spring water had returned much of her energy. It was early yet, she could go over to the hostelry for dinner. She dressed casually, not wanting to bother with clothing that would make her stand out as an adventurer. As she crossed to the door, her eye caught again on the note. Silly thing. She snatched it off the table and lifted the seal.

_Consulate._

The handwriting was all sloppy scratches, a one-word note with no signature, but the message and sender were immediately clear to her, though it would have been meaningless to anyone else. How he expected her to get into the Garlean building was another matter entirely.

The excitement she felt at the idea of seeing Zenos again was wrong. Not only was he meant to be the enemy, he had manipulated her. Hurt her. Stalked her. All of which she could hardly blame him for since she had asked for or invited all of it. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t enjoyed it. She’d had this debate with herself too many times to count. The mental whiplash was exhausting.

With a frustrated sigh, she threw the note back down. Food first. Then to the Consulate to see about a way in, if there was even one to be had. She couldn’t very well walk in the front gate, too many in Kugane would recognize her on sight. After a moment of hesitation, she crossed to the armoire and pulled out her cloak. She wished she could carry weapons in the city, but part of the neutrality of Kugane relied on residents and visitors alike honoring their no violence rule. If Zenos wanted a fight, her fists would have to do.

\------

The setting sun cast the front of the Garlean Consulate in ugly shadows. The guard changed efficiently, no gaps in the watch. No mounts in the city, so she couldn’t use her bird to fly in. No weapons, so she couldn’t take the guards down. Maybe she could just go up and politely let them know that she was there to see Zenos. The idea made her giggle.

Rhela chewed her thumbnail as she leaned against a wall opposite the front gate. Clearly, neither of them had thought this through. As the sun sunk lower and the street slipped into long shadows, Rhela stood from the wall. She could scale the fence from the side, probably. Then what? Sneaking around was not her forte. How would she even know where to look for him?

This part of the city was quiet, probably due to the Garlean presence. Despite practicing neutrality, most in the city still disliked them being here. That worked in her favor as she turned the corner and hugged the fence line. No one to see her poor attempts at stealth. Fortunately, she was agile and able to scale the fence quickly once she had shed her cloak. She slung one leg over the top and prepared to drop onto the other side, but as soon as she shifted her weight a hand closed around her ankle and pulled.

A strangled yelp was cut off as she slammed into the stone below, knocking the breath out of her. She should have been shocked to see Zenos standing over her, but she had stopped being surprised by his sudden appearances after the third time he’d done it in the Menagerie. He leaned over her and opened his mouth to say something but she didn’t give him time to gloat before driving both feet up into his gut just below his ribs. While it wasn’t enough to put him on the ground, it was enough to put him on the defensive for once. She scrambled to her feet and landed two more hits, a second to his solar plexus and one to the side of his jaw, before guards rounded the corner shouting.

“Stop.”

Rhela caught herself grinning wildly, more a bearing of fangs than a smile, at the wheeze in Zenos’s voice. This one minor victory somehow meant more at the moment than those won on the battlefield the last two days.

“Do not touch her.”

The two guards saluted and stepped back, watching Rhela and Zenos silently, while the pair stared each other down. Her muscles twitched in anticipation, nerves on edge while she waited for him to give some sign to continue. Maybe it was the two days of fighting or the high of having staggered him for once, but Rhela wanted to tear him apart.

“Come. Let’s finish this inside.”

The doors to the consulate hadn’t even shut behind them before Zenos was pushing her against the wall. Her hunger was reflected back at her in his gaze. She waited, almost holding her breath, for him to reach for her face before she raised one foot to kick him just below the knee. Zenos buckled with a grunt, pulling her with him. It was enough to drag her off balance, but she used the momentum to flip herself over his shoulder. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she went, pulling him down flat on his back.

Zenos laughed breathlessly. “Fight dirty more often.”

They both rolled, but she was first to her feet. She took a couple of careful steps backward, further down the hallway and out of arm’s reach. If she were smart, she might be concerned about getting trapped too far from the door. But her body thrummed with energy and all she could think of was finding a way to beat him. Zenos lunged for her and she spun away, out of his reach. She needed to think, remember the lessons she had learned from Lyse, and from him. Her size and agility were her biggest advantages, and Zenos was an impatient fighter. She could use that.

The lower level of the building seemed to be mostly empty, although they were interrupted a couple of times by guards rushing to the sound of the fight. Zenos waved them all off. The sounds of their breathing the smack of fists meeting flesh echoed down hallways. Lights came on as they moved; another time she would be curious about the technology, but not now. Rhela danced backward just out of reach, and Zenos pursued her. The muscles in his jaw worked as his impatience mounted, though she had no doubt his stamina would far outlast hers. Her energy was already flagging; she would have to make or find an opening somewhere, soon.

A glancing blow on her shoulder sent her stumbling sideways into some kind of meeting or dining room. The center was dominated by a solid looking wooden table and chairs, leaving Rhela limited room to dodge incoming hits.

_Fight dirty._

Zenos grabbed for her, but rather than ducking away she rushed him, bringing one knee up between his legs and connecting, hard, at the apex of his thighs. He was still a man, after all. Though he didn’t collapse he did double over with a pained grunt, and she took full advantage of his imbalance to drive him to the floor with a few more well-placed hits. Before he could regain his breath, she brought her foot up to rest on his neck. He could have thrown her easily, even winded as he was, but the look on his face bordered on euphoric.

“Yield.” Her heart was hammering in her chest, breathing coming in harsh pants.

“And what will you do with me, my beast?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've stuck with me this long, thank you!
> 
> Join me and people who write a whole lot better than me at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv)


	7. Ultraviolence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s late and it’s a hot mess but it’s here.
> 
> WoL is just as toxic as Zenos.

What was she doing here?

Zenos stroked up her thigh until his hand came to rest on her hip, his thumb tracing the curve of bone that peaked over her smallclothes. She had practically torn his shirt off, and she had stripped down to just her smalls between urgent kisses. He’d let her take the lead and push him back on to the table, then pulled her up with him.

Rhela traced her nails across his chest as she straddled him, her knees on either side of his waist. His pale skin stood out against the dark wood of the table, golden hair fanned out around his head. He was beautiful. With one arm tucked behind his head he looked entirely too relaxed, like he was waiting for her to do something. She chewed her lower lip, suddenly self conscious of their positions. It felt off, somehow, like wearing clothing just slightly too small.

“Why are you holding back, beast?”

Her mind ran through a hundred possible answers. Most of which boiled down to she had no idea what she was doing.

“If you would rather keep fighting…” She shook her head. Any energy she’d managed to scrape together to fight him in the first place was long gone. “Or do you need to be dominated? Held down and used like the filthy thing that you are.”

Emotions warred within her. Part of her wanted to say yes to that, but part of her wanted to slap that smug look off his face. He deserved it, and likely so much more for all the things he was putting her through.

“My patience is limited.”

Her palm stung from the force of the blow that snapped his head to the side. She didn’t wait for him to react, instead grabbing his chin to turn his face back and catch his lips in a demanding kiss. It was ridiculous that she was even attempting this, but she had won, and he had offered himself up, and she’d be damned if she wasn’t going to take advantage. She nipped at his lower lip, nearly purring as she rolled her hips against him. Her fingers tangled into the hair at the crown of his head, tightening as much as she dared until he growled into her.

Rhela pulled away, holding his head down by his hair when he tried to follow. The handprint on his cheek was satisfyingly red and she ran her fingers over the outline, strangely pleased by the heat radiating off of it.

“You enjoy the sound of your own voice far too much.”

The hunger in his eyes was one she knew well, that need for more would be reflected back at him from her own. She traced the strong line of his jaw to his neck, felt the pulse there, strong and steady. She could… the change in his breathing was almost imperceptible, but she could feel it when she leaned her weight into the hand on his throat.

Gods, this wasn’t her at all. What was he doing to her? She scrambled gracelessly off the table, overwhelmed despite the heat pooling between her legs.

“Don’t stop now, you were doing so well.” His tone mocked her and she could feel the flush rising from her chest. Her heart was racing but she held her ground even as he stood and invaded her space, forcing her to crane her neck to look up at him.

“I can’t—”

“You keep telling me that. And yet here you are. I wonder if you even believe yourself.”

Rhela bit her tongue, knowing he was baiting her and hating that it was working. Even worse that she knew he was right, “can’t” was meaningless; she wanted him and she was willing to indulge their shared insanity to have him. His tone, his posture, his casual existence in her space. All of it combined to drive her anger higher. And that, too, was by his design. He was playing her masterfully and she was letting it happen.

“I’m not like you.”

Was she trying to convince him, or herself? She wasn’t even sure she was having the same conversation any more. She didn’t want to see so much of him in herself, didn’t want to be capable of destruction, didn’t want to enjoy causing pain. But hadn’t she enjoyed it? For a moment, with her hand on his neck, she had felt an unmistakable spark of something.

“We are the same. Do you not fight and kill for the thrill of it? Or are you simply a trained dog?”

Her hands flexed into fists at her sides, frustration quickly mounting into rage. His words hit too close to the truth she wanted so badly to ignore.

“Are you not even capable of voicing your desires? Perhaps I think too highly of you, savage.”

“At least I didn’t fall on my own sword because I lost a fight, you petulant fucking child.” It was a petty jab and had nothing to do with anything, but he had gotten under her skin.

Rhela found herself lifted and thrown against the wall, the back of her head bouncing off of it and making the room spin. His hands on her shoulders pinned her, one leg between her own holding her off the ground, her hands pressed against his chest.

“Wait, this isn’t what I wanted.”

Maybe hitting her head had knocked some sense back into her. As much sense as there ever could be, where he was involved.

“Tell me, then, beast. What is it you want?”

She hesitated for a moment, but the way he looked at her it was clear he wasn’t going to let her out of this. He had been right from the start, of course. “Fuck me, please.”

———

For all his posturing, Zenos was just as unsure about what they were doing as she was. His obsession with her had warped, becoming something more than the pursuit of a worthy opponent. The need to possess her completely had taken him, creating feelings that he had little desire for and even less experience with. He wanted to have her, kill her, and be killed by her, in equal measure.

He opened his eyes to the sight of her sitting on the edge of the table, legs spread wide with her fingers buried in her core. A sheen of sweat had formed on her skin and her muscles trembled, so close to the edge. How long had he kept her like this? How much longer would she continue to take it? He enjoyed the sight, though it was more about watching her struggle than the act itself. Her eyes fluttered closed and the rhythm of her movements changed.

“Stop.”

She inhaled sharply and opened her eyes, glaring daggers at him as she pulled her hand away. If he looked, he would find a puddle on the wood surface between her thighs, but her expression was too good to miss. Even exhausted as she must have been, her stamina was something to behold.

“Oh, you were so close, weren’t you?”

He gripped her thigh, squeezing until she winced.

“How long are you going to make me do this?” She panted the words between gritted teeth, still somehow so much fight in her. He would have it all. He leaned in until his lips almost brushed hers.

“Until you break.” 

Her entire body shivered at that and it was all he could do to keep his expression neutral as he pulled away. Fire still burned in her eyes.

“Fuck me.”

“Earn it.” They snap at each other with harsh tones, two circling beasts, each waiting for the other to show a sign of weakness. “Again.”

Twice more she brought herself to the edge, only to have him stop her. The third time she snarled in frustration, her hands balling into fists against her thighs. She shook with the effort of holding herself back. Zenos planted his hands on either side of her hips, caging her with his arms as he leaned over her. Before he registered what was happening, she had wrapped her legs around him and dragged their bodies together; her wet heat pressed against the bulge in his pants, reminding him of his own neglected needs.

“You’ve had your fun, Zenos. Give me what I need.”

She rocked her hips against him, as if there could be any question about what it was she wanted, and he chuckled.

“Oh my beast, we are just getting started.”

Her responding moan made him throb. Their first time had been rushed, desperate. This time, he would see her properly and thoroughly wrecked.

———

Rhela had been on the edge for so long that she came as soon as he pushed inside her, but once wouldn’t be enough. She had snarled for more, harder, faster, and Zenos had been more than willing to oblige. He used his grip on one shoulder and the opposite hip to pull her into his thrusts. Her nails raked bloody lines on his forearms, ankles still locked around his lower back to hold him where she needed him. The huge table creaked under the force of their fucking and she had no doubt everyone in the building could hear her.

“Is that the best you can do?”

It was already just shy of too much, but Rhela’s blood was boiling. Restless energy seeking an outlet, any outlet. His hand traveled up her side, fingers finding the bruises decorating her rib cage and digging into the damaged flesh. The breaks underneath were healed, but white hot pain still lanced through her to make her bow up off the table.

“Careful, you may find my cock somewhere you won’t enjoy as much.”

He snapped his hips into hers with bruising intensity, enough to make her gasp. His threat was clear, and while she didn’t particularly want that, she couldn’t resist baiting him further.

“Why are you holding back?” She spit his own words back at him.

Zenos laughed and the sound chased a chill down her spine. He lifted her from the table and slammed her into the wall so hard that the framed paintings rattled, all without pulling out of her.

“You need it to hurt, don’t you?” Contrary to his words, he rolled his hips into her slowly, the sudden loss of intensity making her whine. “You live for the pain, the struggle, the fear. Has anyone ever satisfied you, beast, or have you spent your life chasing that need? I can see it, you and I are the same. How far would you go, I wonder. Would you kill for it? Die for it?”

“Stop talking and fuck me.” Only for him. No one else could draw that darkness out of her. She couldn’t let him know how right he was.

“As you command, my beast.” 

He moved his grip under her knees, crushing them against the wall at such an angle that the strain in her hips made her wince. She let her head fall back against the wall, her hands coming up to wrap around the back of his neck as he found his rhythm again. He drove into her, forcing the breath from her lungs in gasps, until she was writhing, caught on the edge of her climax.

Rhela wrapped her arms tighter around him, cursing him as she came with his cock buried deep. They were using each other, but what did it matter when it felt so good?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with this chapter because I had An Idea and that idea did not work. Thanks for sticking with it.
> 
> Join me and people who write a whole lot better than me at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv)


	8. Head Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _What in the Seven Hells is Zenos thinking_

Zenos was pulled from sleep by a soft whimper. Unused to sharing a bed with anyone, it took him a moment to register where the noise was coming from. The ache in his muscles as he rolled onto his side was a welcome reminder of the events of the prior evening, the little beast sleeping beside him even more so. She whimpered again, her body twitching in her sleep. A nightmare, perhaps. He started to reach for her but froze with one hand hovering uselessly as she screamed and bolted upright.

She looked panicked as her head swiveled around to take in the room; she had been asleep in his arms before they’d made it up here. Suddenly she seemed to realize he was there, reaching for her, and she swatted his hand away.

“Don’t touch me,” she hissed.

“Suit yourself. Go back to sleep.”

He settled back into the bed, closing his eyes, though he still listened for her movements. She would likely leave, as she had the last time. Use whatever gift she had with magic to spirit herself away, and he would have to track her down. Again.

To his surprise, he felt the bed shift as she lay back down. There was quiet for a moment, and then she sniffed softly. She was crying. Tears quickly turned into sobs, silent, but hard enough that he could feel her shaking even as far away on the bed as she was. He had nothing to offer her for comfort, but almost on instinct, he reached for her again, dragging her towards him until her back was pressed against his chest and he could wrap his arm around her. She didn’t fight it, but her body remained tense against him as she cried. Eventually, the sobs stopped and her breathing slowed to the steady rise and fall of sleep, and he drifted off again.

———

Light streamed in through a curtainless window, landing on Rhela’s face and waking her from a dreamless sleep. She remembered waking, screaming, in the middle of the night. Remembered Zenos, for reasons she didn't even try to understand, holding her until she fell back asleep. The bed was empty, but the sound of running water nearby said she was not alone. Every muscle in her body ached. Two days of combat followed by… last night was clearly too much for her. 

The Blades would survive without her for a couple of days while she recovered. There was no shortage of adventurers seeking to make a name for themselves on the field; her presence, or absence, was unlikely to turn the tide at this stage. She glanced around the room hoping to find her clothes, but of course, they were not there. He likely hadn’t even bothered to remove them from whatever room they had destroyed the previous night. She sighed, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed to get up and track him, or her clothes, down.

As if summoned by her thoughts, Zenos stepped back into the room. He was dressed, of course.

“Hungry?”

Her stomach growled loudly - thinking about food had been a mistake - and she nodded. He started for the other door, clearly expecting her to follow.

“Zenos?” When he looked back at her she gestured to herself and he seemed to notice, for the first time, that she was not dressed. He shrugged and pulled the door open. “Zenos! I cannot go wandering around the Garlean Consulate naked.”

Never mind the fact that she had done almost exactly that already, that was last night and under entirely different circumstances. He didn’t bother to close the door but crossed the room to a bureau and pulled out a plain black tunic, throwing it at her and leaving the room without a second glance. No smalls, but the tunic was long enough to brush her knees. Rhela scrambled to pull it on and catch up with him.

Similar to Castrum Centri, Zenos was given a wide berth by the few people they passed. She got curious glances, though she didn’t see recognition on anyone’s face. At least she could be thankful for that. He disappeared into a door ahead of her, reappearing with a pair of bowls in one hand before she had caught up. Again, he didn’t even pause to wait for her and continued walking.

The room he stopped in was immediately familiar, and still in a state of disarray. Chairs pulled out and at least one tipped over, pictures crooked on the walls, clothes discarded on the floor, even the table was crooked. She felt herself blush, heat going from her chest to her hairline, as she looked over the damage.

“Eat.”

Despite his brusque tone, the silence they settled into while they ate was not uncomfortable.

“Do you always scream in your sleep?”

Rhela froze, food halfway to her mouth. It happened often enough that it was normal for her, now. The question was, why did he care? She finished the bite, swallowing hard, before answering him.

“I have nightmares.”

Zenos seemed unsurprised. “What about?”

The burden of being a ‘hero’. Paradise lost. Lives she had failed to save. Last night, as with most nights, it was Amaurot burning and her battle with… Her mind caught on his name, unwilling or unable to acknowledge the damage that fight had done to her.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

She did, just not with him. Maybe not with anyone. Who would have understood? He didn’t push her, and she finished eating quickly. She didn’t have anywhere else to be, but she couldn’t stay here. Her clothes were horribly wrinkled, but better than being seen wandering in Imperial garb. She could feel his eyes on her as she stripped off the tunic and pulled her own clothing back on.

“When do you return to Bozja?”

Rhela turned, narrowing her eyes at him. She shouldn’t be surprised, wasn’t surprised really, but was still irritated by his casual knowledge of her activities while she knew nothing about where he was if he wasn’t with her.

“Likely tomorrow.”

“You should see a medicus before you go.”

“I can heal myself, I’m fine.”

“You are not, and I have no use for you if you cannot fight.”

She gritted her teeth, his arrogance coupled with his emotionless tone bringing back all the rage she had worked out the previous evening. “I shall certainly take His Radiance’s concern for my health into consideration.” She bowed mockingly, and thought she saw a flash of amusement in his eyes as she straightened up. 

It was past time for her to leave. She got halfway out the door before he said anything else.

“If you let anyone else kill you, I shall never forgive you.”

The gods damned insufferable... Rhela didn’t even dignify his comment with a response.

———

A soft knock on the door to her inn room roused her from an afternoon nap. Rhela groaned and rolled out of the bed, crossing the room to crack the sliding door. The innkeeper was in front, looking quite distressed, followed closely by an Imperial medicus.

“I am sorry to disturb you, miss, he would not leave until he had seen you.” The innkeeper gestured to the medicus, who looked like he would rather be anywhere else.

If the man hadn’t looked so flustered, she might have sent them both away. As it was, she felt at least partially responsible. She slid the door open all the way, stepping aside. “It’s fine, he can come in.”

The medicus looked her over with distaste, but stepped around the innkeep and into the room. The other man bowed and hurried off down the hall with a rushed “thank you.”

Rhela looked over the medicus, who returned her frown, and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m sure you’re no happier about this than I am, so let’s get it over with.”

He nodded once and gestured to her top. “I understand you have significant bruising to be examined, and I’m to check for signs of head trauma.”

“Head trauma,” she muttered to herself, shaking her head as she peeled off her top and sat on the edge of the bed. If he hadn’t slammed her into the wall…

“Lie back, please.”

She sighed heavily but did as he asked. He poked and prodded at her in silence while she stared at the ceiling, wincing occasionally when he touched on particularly painful spots. If he noticed, it didn’t affect him.

“Sit up.”

She had to fight the urge to snap at the man, reminding herself that he had likely been threatened into this job to begin with. He felt around her neck and the back of her head, tilting it up to look at her eyes.

“Is the white natural?”

“Aether corruption.”

He hummed in response. “You’ll live. You’re not concussed, and the bruising appears superficial.”

He was already halfway to the door by the time she pulled her shirt on and stood up from the bed. “For what it’s worth, I appreciate your time.”

“You’re welcome.”

He slid the door closed behind him, leaving her alone to wonder what in the Seven Hells Zenos was thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still here, thank you. I'm just throwing stuff out there at this point and since I have internet access, it's everyone's problem now.
> 
> Join me and people who write a whole lot better than me at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv)


	9. Malicious Intent

“We can’t keep doing this.” She murmured between kisses, but they kept going anyway.

Rhela’s back hit the bed moments before Zenos’s weight pinned her, his lips and teeth leaving a blazing trail down the side of her neck.

“I know.”

He traveled lower, flicking his tongue across her nipple before drawing it between his teeth and biting until she cried and arched against him. She gripped the bedspread below her, squirming under his touch, drifting ever closer to where she needed it.

This mess they were in was as much her fault as it was his. She could have left. Not that he wouldn’t have pursued her, of course. She didn’t have to split her time between the Bozjan front and Kugane, walking through the front gates of the consulate as if she belonged there as soon as she was back in the city. She’d given up all pretense of keeping a room at the inn, and while she avoided coming or going during the day, she knew the chances were good that someone had noticed. She should have stopped. She threatened to. But her threats were empty.

A sharp bite on her inner thigh made her squeal and grab his hair, trying in vain to pull him away, but it only seemed to motivate him to bite harder.

“Zeno— Ah!”

He released her thigh only to turn his head and drive his tongue between her folds, immediately focusing in on her clit. The throbbing pain from the bite was forgotten in a wave of pleasure that had her rolling her hips against him. Even in this, he was not gentle. He demanded her pleasure, forcing it from her in insistent strokes until she was writhing, his name falling from her lips in a meaningless plea.

“Come, little beast. Let me hear you.”

He pushed two fingers into her easily and curled them forward, tongue flicking hard against her in the same instant, and she came apart. Her cry filled the room, likely traveling through walls and disturbing any poor soul that happened to be in the vicinity. He was relentless, keeping her at the peak of her pleasure until her first orgasm rolled into a second. Too much and not enough all at once. She needed to feel him.

“Please!”

The room rolled, the intensity of her waning climax making her head spin as Zenos moved her. Her body offered no resistance, she couldn’t have fought him if she wanted to. Her face and chest pressed into the bed, knees tucked under her hips to angle her body up towards him. When he didn’t immediately move to enter her, she wiggled her hips and whined.

“Beg for me.”

“Please, Zenos.” She knew what he wanted to hear, but it didn’t come easily to her. That was probably why he insisted on it.

“Not good enough, beast. Try again.”

He dug his fingers into her hip hard enough to bruise. Her skin was just bruises on top of bruises, a canvas of battle and his affections. Though she couldn’t see it, she knew he would be stroking himself with his other hand. Unhurried, because what reason did he have to rush anything. He could take his time with her, held captive as she was.

“I need—” she gasped, arching her back, as he ran his length across her folds, coating himself in her slick. “Please, please fuck me. I need to feel you inside me.”

Zenos moved slowly, pressing into her while he held her still. “Like this?” Teasing. Bastard.

“Harder.”

He tsk’d quietly. “So demanding. I don’t know if you’ve earned it.”

“Please fuck me, Zenos.” She hated the wanton whine of her voice, hated that he could pull this out of her. “Harder and faster, please!”

Rhela screamed out a curse as he hilted himself inside her, setting a pace that left her struggling for a full breath. Every snap of his hips jolted her forward and she was glad for the pillows that kept her from slamming into the headboard. 

“Harder, damn you.” Just a little more, a little closer to the edge of pain, and she could forget. She wanted to forget. Let herself go and just be used, so she wouldn’t have to think.

Zenos palmed the back of her head, pushing her face down into the bed hard enough to restrict her breathing. She hated that he knew her so well, and the hate and pain and pleasure roiled within her, building to an inferno that threatened to consume them and the world both.

Her release was violent, lightning racing up her spine and through her veins as every muscle tensed against him, her inner walls somehow pushing him out and pulling him in simultaneously. Hands clawed frantically at the sheets, seeking leverage to push herself up and get air into her screaming lungs. He pulled her up suddenly, one arm wrapped around her across her chest and pinned her arms against her sides. She choked down desperate lungfuls of air, tears streaming down her face, while he held her against his chest.

“Shhh. Breathe, little beast.”

Her head rolled back against him, body nearly limp but still trembling in his arms.

“I hate you.”

“I know.”

When he started to move again, all she could do was take it.

———

“I cannot continue to ignore your involvement in Bozja.”

Rhela lowered her fork and blinked at him in surprise. They hadn’t ever really discussed what she was doing. She assumed he didn’t care, that the Empire was continuing the fight with or without his input. That he had an opinion on it at all shocked her.

“Do you forget who you share a bed with, little beast?”

His voice was a dangerous purr, one she knew would likely be followed by violence. She bit the inside of her lower lip, carefully considering her next words.

“I believed Your Radiance had little interest in the Empire’s conflicts.”

The formality of her words felt strange, foreign on her tongue. She risked a glance up at him. Zenos sat with his elbows on the table and fingers laced together, staring at her with narrowed blue eyes.

“Whatever my interest, I am still the Emperor.”

She couldn't think of any way to respond, so she said nothing and stared at the remaining food on her plate.

“You’ve done me a favor in crippling the IVth and those who would rise up against the throne. But your continued support of the rebels inspires them, and Garlemald will not tolerate another liberation.”

Rhela never would have imagined that Zenos would take to the throne as he had. It was strange to hear him discussing this as if he cared at all about his inherited Empire, his subjects. Unless something significant had changed within him between his death in Ala Mhigo and now… or perhaps she had never given him enough credit.

“What would you have me do, then? Leave them to be crushed by the Empire? Allow you to take from them until there is nothing left? No.”

“Chose, then.”

She looked at him blankly, not sure what he meant and not willing to take a guess.

“Who would you save? I will meet you on the field, but I will send the full strength of Garlemald wherever you are not.”

Terror gripped her, tightening her chest. How could she possibly make that decision? Wherever she went, he would follow, but she couldn’t be in two places at once. Could Eorzea stand against war? Doma certainly couldn’t, not alone. Bozja wasn’t even a choice. And what if she lost? Would everyone fall because of her failure?

“You… you cannot hope to control so much territory through fear alone.”

“My great grandfather built his empire on fear.”

“You are not half the man he was,” she snarled, before she even realized what she was saying. The wave of anger broke, leaving only fear in its wake, as they watched each other across the table. His expression was alarmingly calm. She had revealed far, far too much, and she couldn’t take it back.

“Oh? Did you know him well?”

He knew more than the words implied. Elidibus had possessed his body. Did his knowledge remain, somehow, or had he told Zenos? And exactly how much did Zenos already know?

“I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t want to talk about him.”

“Yes, you have mentioned that before.”

Her nightmares. Had he put that together?

“I didn’t… I need to go.”

She expected him to stop her. Maybe wanted him to stop her. But he watched her leave in silence, as always.

The sun had slipped below the horizon, but the air was still stifling, leaving her feeling short of breath as she tried to hold back tears. Stupid, foolish, reckless. Her mind berated her for every action, every word. She had to stop, _this_ had to stop.

“Rhela?”

No. She was far enough from the consulate that she didn’t think it was obvious where she was coming from, but guilt and fear flooded her system. She turned slowly, consciously trying to relax her body. It was one of the girls from the Ruby Bazaar, Rhela didn’t know her name.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, but Hancock would like to see you at your convenience.”

‘At your convenience’ was Hancock for ‘now’. Rhela sighed, shaking her head at her own paranoia. It was probably just business, but he seemed to believe everything was urgent.

“Of course, I’ll be there shortly.”

This should be good. At least she would have something to take her mind off of the mess with Zenos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this a cliffhanger? It’s probably a cliffhanger.
> 
> I don’t think I have too many more chapters left. I found an ending I like and we’re getting there.
> 
> As usual, thanks for sticking with me~
> 
> Join me and people who write a whole lot better than me at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv)


	10. Caught

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How have I written 10 chapters of this??
> 
> I appreciate everyone’s continued support :)

The sight of the Scions seated around one of the low tables in the Ruby Bazaar should have been a welcome one, but Rhela didn’t think they came bearing good news. It was never good news when they traveled together. Alphinaud, Alisaie, and G’raha shared the couch, while Thancred lurked sullenly outside the circle of chairs around the low table. She wondered if he thought he looked intimidating like that, or if “sulk” was just his default state. Although, none of them looked happy.

“What happened?”

Alphinaud laughed, but she could tell he was uneasy. “Nice to see you too, Rhela.”

She dropped into one of the chairs with a heavy sigh. She was exhausted, more than exhausted, and she knew whatever this was would not be good. Some primal, some major threat, something that would require the strength of the Warrior of Light.

“I’m sorry, Alphinaud. It’s just… been a long few days. What brings you out here?”

“We were hearing some… concerning things.” Ever the diplomat.

“You traveled all the way to Kugane over rumors?” She arched an eyebrow at him and he shifted uncomfortably before looking to the others for assistance. None was immediately forthcoming. She didn’t think Alisaie had even looked at her once. Thancred, for his part, hadn’t stopped glaring daggers at her since she came in. They couldn’t know. Someone would have come sooner if they knew.

“Ah… well, if it were just rumors--”

“You were seen,” Thancred cut Alphinaud off, acid dripping from his words, “more than once.”

Rhela felt all the air leave the room. She shouldn’t be surprised, she hadn’t even been careful. But to hear it spoken was still, somehow, unexpected. She had nothing to say to defend herself. Whatever rumors they had heard could not possibly be worse than the reality of her situation.

“It’s true, then.”

Thancred’s tone hadn’t bothered her, because they had never gotten along to begin with. Their relationship could be described as begrudging tolerance, at best. The betrayal evident in Alisaie’s voice, however, was like a knife to her heart. She wanted to deny it, wished she could deny it. Alphinaud and G’raha wouldn’t even look at her. Alisaie appeared on the verge of tears. If looks could kill, Thancred’s certainly would have. But even confronted with the hurt on her friend’s faces, she wouldn’t take it back.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen.” She gave them the only truth she could.

She had tried to end it, hadn’t she? Had told Zenos over and over that she couldn’t do it anymore. But every time he had pulled her back. And she had let him. She had come back to him every time because she wanted to forget, and he could make that happen.

Rhela stood. She couldn’t breathe in here, she had to get out. Get some air. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came, so she moved towards the door only to be cut off by Thancred.

“Warrior of Light or no, if any of them get hurt because of what you’ve done, I will kill you myself.”

Rhela didn’t bother to tell him that if any of them got hurt because of her, he wouldn’t need to. She ducked around him, taking deep breaths to steady herself as she walked out the door. Even now, she didn’t want them to see her break down.

She was planning to leave Kugane and get away for a while, but she didn’t make it far. Somewhere along the way the weight of everything became too much to hold, and that was how she found herself sitting on the ground against a wall when G’raha caught up with her. She couldn’t even bring herself to look at him.

“May I join you, my friend?”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know.” He lowered himself to sit beside her with a smile, kinder than she probably deserved. “I came because I want to, not because I have to.”

She wanted to cry. Everything was all wrong. She was supposed to be the hero, but she’s broken. She didn’t deserve his support anymore, if she ever did to begin with.

“I’m just so tired, G’raha.” She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the dirty bricks. “It’s all too much.”

Friends and enemies alike, the bodies piled up into a mountain behind her. Perhaps not all by her own hand, but all because of her. Either things she had done or things she had failed to do.

“I won’t pretend to understand the burden you carry. I know we… I asked much of you. If there had been another way…”

There never was another way, was there? She didn’t believe they’d even looked for one, not really. The Scions, the Eorzean alliance leaders, the Exarch, they all just used the brute strength of the Warrior of Light to solve their problems. And could she even blame them, in the end? She had become a very efficient killer, because that was what she needed to be. In the end, was she really so different from their enemies? The answer was, in her mind, no.

“It’s fine.” She forced a smile. “We all did what we had to.”

G’raha was unconvinced, she could see it on his face, but he didn’t push back.

“I will admit I know little about Zenos, but I gather you have some history with him?”

History was certainly a word for it. “We fought him to free Ala Mhigo. He possessed an Eikon, and then killed himself after I defeated him.” She laughed, but there was no humor in it. “He didn’t have the decency to stay dead.”

“And now?”

She wished she knew. “I enjoy his company. It’s nice to forget for a while. Let go of being the Warrior of Light and just…” she trailed off with a shrug. But that was probably gone, now. Between knowing that she had been caught, and the way she’d left things with Zenos, it would be impossible to go back. G’raha nodded, like he understood. He probably did, having spent so long as the Exarch.

Approaching footsteps ended the moment, the echo off the seawall making them sound louder than they like were. Rhela stood, pulling G’raha with her, and put herself between him and whatever was coming around the corner. For all the city’s assurances of neutrality and non-violence, Kugane could still be a dangerous place at night.

“Did you find a friend, my beast?”

Why would it be anyone else?

“That’s him, then?” She gave a half nod in response.

“I did tell you if you wanted to be hunted down, I was happy to oblige… but if this is the best you can do then I find myself rather disappointed.”

G’raha made a low growl of displeasure from behind her and she held up her arm to block him from lunging forward. “It’s alright, you should go back.”

“What should I tell—”

“Tell them the truth. I’m going willingly, I’ll be back when I can.”

She could feel him hesitating and she gritted her teeth in frustration. If he started a fight with Zenos here and now, it would not go well for anyone. Her least of all. Zenos only smirked.

“Run along, little cat. Unless you’d like to join us.”

“Go, G’raha. Now.”

She let out a relieved breath that she hadn’t realized she’d been holding when she finally heard his retreating footsteps. Zenos stepped closer to her, reaching out to run his fingers along the curve of her horn.

“Come on, beast. I’m not finished with you yet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join me and people who write a whole lot better than me at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv)


	11. Everything I Need

The little beast had said nothing since sending her friend away. It was as if all the fight had gone out of her, and Zenos did not approve. He didn’t want her like this, this subdued, half-broken thing. She was meant to be wild, to be the challenge he needed.

She sat on the bed, arms wrapped around her knees, and stared at the window that only reflected a distorted image of the room. She probably wasn’t seeing anything at all. 

Zenos shifted in his chair, resting his elbow on the arm as he watched her with narrowed eyes. He had every intention of following through on his earlier threats, but he would not fight her as she was now. Again she needed comfort that he did not have the skills to provide.

“Beast.” Her tail twitched and she turned her head slightly, but that was the extent of her acknowledgment. “What is it?”

“Do you even…” She trailed off, shaking her head. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter.”

She fell silent again, leaving him to wonder what she was going to ask. The longer she stayed quiet, the more his agitation grew, but he found he could do nothing other than sit and watch her. There was no satisfaction to be found in taking from her as she was.

“The people I get attached to… They usually end up dead. Sometimes,” her tone was flat, bordering emotionless, “it’s at the end of my own blade.”

The Ascians had given him precious little information about what his prey had been doing, but between what he knew and things she had said, he could draw his own conclusions.

…...

“What am I doing here, Zenos?”

Rhela heard him sigh and watched him from the corner of her eye as he circled the bed to stand in front of her.

“You tell me. Have I forced you to be here?”

She wanted to say yes, but it was a lie. He had not forced anything from her, not truly. She could have said no, could have stopped, could have refused him at any time. And she chose not to. She was here because she wanted to be. But it was easier to say nothing.

Zenos cupped her chin, tilting her head up to look at him. “I have no use for you in this state.”

Rhela laughed. She was no good to anyone like this, but of course he would be the one to come out and say it. It was his tone, the slight hint of concern, that confused her. She jerked her head out of his grip and shifted to slide off the bed.

“I don’t want your pity.” He caught her wrist before she had gone more than two steps. Now, of all the times she had walked away, he would stop her? After telling her she was worthless? Trying to pull away from him was an exercise in futility. “Fuck you, Zenos. If I am worthless to you, then let me go. Or kill me and be done with it.”

He yanked her back, twisting her arm up and behind her until her wrist was pinned between her shoulders, his other arm wrapping around her front to pull her back against him. “Do not twist my words.”

She struggled against him, trying to shake his hold, but it was like fighting a wall. He dropped to his knees, curling his upper body around her even as she fought. Hurt and anger and frustration welled up inside her, emotions surging until finally the dam broke and violent sobs wracked her. 

Everything she had tried so hard to hold back flooded out. Emet-Selch and Ardbert and her failure to contain the light, Elidibus, Zenos and his threats and his gods damned pity, the betrayal on her friends’ faces, her own self-hatred and the kindnesses she didn’t deserve. Somewhere along the way she stopped fighting and Zenos released her wrist to put both arms around her. That - the way he held her like he _cared_ \- somehow made it worse. She lost all track of time, crying until the tears stopped and she was left hollow, limp in his arms.

“You are not worthless.”

“I hate you.” Her voice shook. She didn’t mean it, not even close.

She let Zenos pull her into bed, let herself be held even though she didn’t know how to accept comfort any more than he knew how to give it. Later, they would worry about whether or not he planned to make good on his threats. Later, she could figure out how to explain herself to her friends, if they could even still be called friends after all of this. Later, she would sort out her feelings for him. But not now. She wasn’t ready.

———

For the first night in a long time, she was not woken by nightmares. Being emotionally gutted was, apparently, good for sleep. A low rumbling against her back, very nearly a purr, drew her fully awake. Zenos tightened his arms around her, but her small noise of protest went unnoticed and by the warm steady exhales against the top of her head, she guessed he was still asleep.

Whatever moment they’d had last night was over, and Rhela was not going to indulge cuddling. She tried to extricate herself from under his arm, only to have them tighten further. If he hadn’t been before, he was definitely awake now. She squirmed again but he threw his top leg over both of hers, effectively trapping her against him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” His voice was still gravelly with sleep.

“I’m not going to cuddle with you,” she hissed, pushing her elbow back into him to try to gain some leverage. Zenos rolled them both, pinning her on her stomach underneath him and grinding his hips against her. Even through the layers of clothing between them she could feel how hard he was already, and she responded by pushing back into him. They were both hopelessly insatiable.

“You prefer this?” Rhela nodded, squirming until he leaned up to let her reposition on her hands and knees. He chuckled softly and ran his hand down her back until he reached the waistband of her pants, which he gripped and pulled down to her thighs in one motion.

She arched her back, watching him over her shoulder as he pushed his own pants out of the way before plunging two fingers inside her. Heat coiled at the base of her spine as he circled his fingers inside her, gathering whatever scant wetness that had formed in such a short time. Her body wasn’t ready to take him, not by a long shot, but she was going to anyway in pursuit of that high only he could give her. A whine escaped her as he withdrew his fingers.

“Do you want it to hurt?”

“Please!”

Zenos lined himself up with her entrance, forcing his way into her. The pain of that first stretch came sharp, making her wince, but it settled into a dull throb as she took more of his length until his hips settled against hers.

“Relax,” he murmured, stroking his hand down her side. “You take me so well.”

She hadn’t even realized she was trembling. She tried to take a deep breath but it caught in her throat when he moved his hand to her stomach to support her. The feeling of fullness overwhelmed her, no matter how many times they had done this. She didn’t want gentleness from him, couldn’t handle it, but she was helpless under him.

“Zenos, please. I need—”

The first snap of his hips cut her off, her words turning into a moan.

“I know what you need, my beast.”

If it hurt, she could everything else go. And maybe, maybe it would be enough to build her back up to face the Scions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join me and people who write a whole lot better than me at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv)


	12. Inevitable

_Time passes, as it always does._

Rhela agreed to stay out of the Bozjan conflict, and though the decision was met with a great deal of protest it was a risk she couldn’t afford to take. She left Kugane and returned to Revenant’s Toll. The Scions didn’t trust her anymore, and that was probably worsened by her refusal to talk about what had happened between her and Zenos.

She was never alone, but she was frequently lonely. 

Everyone was uncomfortable around her, but somewhere on the journey back from Kugane it had been decided - entirely without her input - that she needed a babysitter. It was mostly G’raha, the only one without history with Zenos and the only one who seemed to still want to be around her. Sometimes Alphinaud accompanied her, but usually only if his business coincided with wherever she was going. Y’shtola and Urianger could rarely be bothered to abandon whatever research they were on, though they were amicable enough when she was around. Thancred had disappeared to do… whatever it was Thancred did. Alisaie’s rejection hurt the most; she hardly even spoke to Rhela any more.

A fortnight passed, then two.

Zenos had not followed her.

“Rhela?”

She tilted her head slightly towards the sound of G’raha’s voice.

“Alisaie was going hunting in Coerthas and I thought you might want to--”

“No.” She didn’t know if it was the mention of Alisaie or hunting that set her on edge.

G’raha seemed both unsurprised and unbothered when he pulled out the chair beside her and sat, pushing a mug of ale towards her. Again it occurred to her how little she deserved his kindness.

“Have you eaten recently?” When had she eaten last? That morning? Dinner the day before, perhaps? She shrugged and started to lift the mug until he stopped her with a hand on her wrist. “You cannot drink on an empty stomach, my friend.”

G’raha stood, clearly waiting for her to follow. When it became clear he wasn’t going to back down, she sighed and pushed herself back from the table. If he was going to force her to eat, so be it, but she was going to bring the drink with her.

———

The Ascian was pestering him again. Zenos hadn’t heard a word of it.

How long had it been?

As agreed, she had stayed away from Bozja. Convenient, if not mildly disappointing. He would have his fight one way or another, though. He could be patient a while longer.

Every waking thought, every dream was of her.

He knew where she was. He could go to her like he had before. But whatever was between them had already gone too far. He was never meant to feel anything for her beyond the desire to kill or be killed. 

If he closed his eyes, he could see her. The way she looked in combat. The way she looked in the moments just before she came. The way she looked sleeping beside him.

He opened his eyes, more displeased than he cared to admit, even to himself, to see the damn Ascian still talking.

“Leave me.”

Zenos had cut him off mid-rant, he could tell by the shocked expression on the face he wore. Fortunately, the thing had at least some sense.

“As you wish, Your Radiance.”

Finding her that first night in the Royal Menagerie had been a coincidence; he had ventured into Ala Mhigo to satisfy his own morbid thoughts. Continuing to seek her out, and to let her seek him out, had been a mistake that he had indulged for far too long. He would not make that mistake again.

———

Rhela had known it was coming. It was small changes at first; Thancred coming back, quiet conversations that seemed to stop as soon as she entered the room, everyone avoiding her more than usual. Tension crackled in the air like the first signs of a storm. But knowing it was coming didn’t stop the sick feeling in her stomach.

“Imperial troops are advancing on Doma from the south. It looks to be multiple legions… We can only assume they mean to retake the liberated areas.”

She could feel them looking at her, but she couldn’t focus past the ringing in her ears. She had waited too long and now Zenos was forcing her hand.

“Is he there?”

Glances exchanged between them, everyone hesitating to tell her.

“We believe the Emperor will be with them, yes.”

Even if she stopped him, what then? Could they stand against the Imperial army? A legion, maybe. But more than one, with gunships and magitek? The casualties would be high even if she could reach Zenos before the fighting got too bad. If she could stop him, would the army retreat? Or would they continue as planned?

“You don’t need to…”

“Oh?” She snapped. “Which of you would face him, then? Do any of you honestly think you could bring him down, when I couldn’t manage it?”

She looked around at their faces, but no one except Thancred would look at her.

“And I suppose we’re just going to trust that you won’t run off with him again?”

“Thancred, please. She’s right. There isn’t another way.”

Rhela laughed bitterly. There never was. She turned and started for the door.

“Where are you going?”

She didn’t even break stride. “I need to train.”

In the end, Alisaie and Thancred had accompanied her to Ala Mhigo; of course it would be the two she was least comfortable with. They were both good training partners, though, so except for the uncomfortable tension she couldn’t complain about their presence. Thancred especially seemed to be using their sparring as an excuse to take out his frustrations. She couldn’t say she blamed him. She ended each day exhausted, almost too exhausted to dwell on what was coming.

———

The storm built inside her. Anger and frustration and even fear, if she could admit it to herself, closing in around her with each day that passed. A distinct lack of news - or at least news that was being shared with her - from the East was not helping matters.

_She had returned to Ala Mhigo. Somehow, he had known she would. Did she know he watched her, waiting for her to be ready to face him again? Her companions were no match for her, he could tell she was holding back when she fought them. She had not held back with him._

The Garleans waited. No one knew where Zenos was, except that he was no longer in Garlemald. Was he waiting for her? How long could she continue to stall before he lost patience and attacked, with or without her?

Doma was not ready. Would never be ready. Was she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT IS FINISHED.  
> 14 chapters and an epilogue.  
> I have edits and proofreads to do, but we’re in the end game now kids.
> 
> Screech at me on Discord at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv)


	13. Last Words

Rhela was ready to collapse by the time she returned to her room from a day of training. Word was Zenos had finally appeared in Othard, and so they had moved to Kugane to be ready. It was painful being back here, where they had spent so much time together. She was so lost in exhaustion and her own thoughts that she didn’t notice the presence behind her until a hand closed over her mouth. A startled squeak escaped her before the sound was cut off completely.

Her knees went weak, her heart beating like thunder in the quiet darkness of the room. Tears burned in her eyes but she blinked them back before they could spill over. Weeks had passed. Why now?

Zenos lifted his hand away and she spun to face him as she stepped away. So many conflicting emotions ran through her, but if he felt the same his face betrayed nothing. He moved towards her, backing her up until her legs hit the bed, and her breathing sped up, in anticipation or fear she couldn’t be sure.

“You can’t be here.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

He lifted her easily and then they were in bed with him on top of her before she could even protest. A quiet whimper escaped her as he slid his hand between them and under her clothes, fingers finding and pressing over her clit as though no time had passed, like he still had her body memorized.

“Better keep quiet, then. You wouldn’t want your friends to find you in such a compromising position.”

She shook her head rapidly; a bubble of panic swelled in her chest and made it hard to breathe. She was already getting wet for him, her body responding to his touch despite the war inside her. Not now, not like this.

“N-no, please…”

Her protest dissolved into a pitiful moan when he slid his fingers inside her.

“Shh, beast. I’ll give you what you need.”

His tone left no room for protest. And even if she screamed and fought back, who would believe that she hadn’t invited him here? After everything, how could she deny him? He pulled his hand away as he sat up, and she lifted her hips to let him draw her pants and small clothes down and off. She tugged her shirt over her head as he made quick work of his own clothes. 

Zenos had never forced her, not really, and this was no exception. 

Rhela let him pull her into his lap and wrapped her arms around him, biting down on his shoulder to stifle a scream as he gripped her hips and pulled her onto his length. She clung to him desperately, little gasps and quiet whimpers that she couldn’t hold back muffled against his chest. One of his hands splayed across her back between her shoulders, the other gripping her hip to control her movements.

He held her tightly, pulling her down even as he thrust his hips up to meet her. Long, deep strokes that stole her breath, nails biting into his back and scoring lines down it. She was so close, so much faster than she would have wanted. She needed it to last, knowing, somehow, this would be the last time. Her whole body shuddered against his and he slowed, almost stopping.

“Not yet, wait.”

She didn’t know if she could, but she nodded anyway. For him, for every moment between them, she would hold herself back. When he rocked his hips against hers, it was all she could do to hold on to him.

It didn’t take long for the cracks to start appearing in his self-control. His grip tightened and she could feel him pulse within her, his thrusts growing more urgent.

“Zenos, please…”

“Come, little beast.”

She tipped over the edge first, with him following not long after, each one holding tight to the other like they never wanted to let go. Even through her own waves of pleasure, she could feel him release deep within her. If she could have frozen the moment, she would have stayed in it forever; hearts and breaths and bodies locked together perfectly, like that was the way they were meant to be. 

Too soon he was unwinding her arms from around his neck and laying her back on the bed. In an uncharacteristically gentle move, he brushed the hair back from her face, his hand lingering on her cheek. Something that looked a lot like regret flickered in his eyes for a moment, but then it was gone and all that was left was the hard, predatory look she knew so well.

Rhela knew what was coming, but that did nothing to stop panic from closing in on her again when he stood up and reached for his clothes. Everything stuck in her throat as she watched him, frozen, as he dressed and turned away from her.

Finally, she found her voice, scrambling off the bed and into the middle of the room. “Don’t leave.”

He paused at the door, but didn’t look back.

“Please. If you go, I’ll have to…” her breath hitched as she tried to contain her tears. “I’m not strong enough. Please.”

He turned then, two steps bringing him back to her, one hand reaching to cup her jaw, his grip painful.

“When the time comes, you will face me and you will give me everything.”

Everything she had come to see in him was wiped away, leaving only the monster she had faced so long ago, when he had commanded her to live. The worst part was knowing that she would beat him, that their fight could only end one way. He was all but commanding her to kill him, and yet his expression didn’t falter. She seemed to be the only one who felt like the ground was falling away under their feet.

“I demand it, my beast. Do you understand?”

She gave a small nod, the tears finally spilling over. If he was at all affected, he didn’t show it. Zenos dropped his hand abruptly and left the room without a backward glance, taking with him any hope she might have had.

All of the stolen moments, the intimacy they shared… had it all been one-sided? Had she truly been so desperate for his affections that she had conjured feelings where there were none? He felt nothing for her other than the desire for a worthy hunt, and the realization was crushing. And even still, she could not find it in herself to hate him.

Rhela wiped at the tears, drawing trembling breaths as she struggled to calm herself. If she had been stupid enough to believe there was something between them, that was her own fault. Hadn’t she already learned this lesson once?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Screech at me on Discord at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv)


	14. Crack the Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this chapter mostly written since chapter two.  
> The chapter title is from the song "Play Crack the Sky"
> 
> _  
> I know that this is what you want  
> ...  
> You know that you are not alone  
> I need you like water in my lungs  
> This is the end_
> 
> _  
> ___  
> 

_The battle raged in the valley below him, fire and smoke obscuring bodies and magitek, and he felt nothing. His beast had not yet appeared on the field, though he did not doubt she would. She would arrive to put a stop to the bloodshed, as she always did. She would fight her way to him, and she would give him the glorious combat he demanded._

Fighting was well underway when their airship landed on the edge of the battlefield. Though Imperial gunships hovered on the periphery, none had fired on them. Did Zenos know she was on board and tell them not to shoot? She could see the wreckage of other airships and had to assume that was the case. 

As her feet hit the ground, the weight of it came crashing down on her. All the death and destruction… had she done this? Was all of it just a tactic to draw her into a fight? Where she should have felt rage, hatred enough to do what needed to be done, all she felt was crushing defeat. Whatever the outcome of this battle, she had lost. At least she could protect those who still stood. She could get her friends to the front lines, and then, perhaps, they could turn the tide.

Rhela drew her gunblade, pushing her aether into the weapon until the cold steel hummed in her hands. Thancred stood beside her with his own, every bit as willing to sacrifice his life for his friends, though she doubted she was counted among that number. The rest fell in behind them; the twins, G’raha, Urianger, Y’shtola, Hien, Yugiri. Everyone they could spare, because they would need all the strength they could call on.

“Lead the way, Warrior of Light,” Thancred grumbled. She nodded in response. 

No charge, no battle cry, only a slow advance into the fray.

One by one her friends peeled off or fell back, offering assistance where they could, until she pressed forward alone. At some point, she realized she was being watched and she looked up. Zenos stood above it all, watching her, and anger shot through her at the sight. He had commanded all of this, and hadn’t even deigned to fight himself. She hadn’t even counted the number she had already struck down, and he had only looked on.

Everything else was forgotten in her path towards him, those few who dared try to stop her were cut down quickly. If he wanted to face a beast, a beast she would be.

When she created the hill and her eyes met his, she faltered, stumbling to one knee. Her breathing was labored, lungs filled with smoke from the fires below. She could not do this. There was no mercy in his expression. It had to end here, like this. He commanded it without saying a word. She fought her way to her feet again, focusing on taking one step at a time towards death until she stood a mere few yalms from him.

“You’re late.”

She almost laughed.

“Come, then, Eikon Slayer. Hold nothing back.”

As if nothing had happened.

Rhela lunged for him, not even waiting for him to draw his own weapon, but he was fast, sidestepping her initial lunge and then deflecting her second swing. Her entire body protested the intensity of the movement. She needed to slow down or her already limited energy would never last.

She circled and Zenos followed, watching, waiting for her to strike. It was an entirely different dance than sparring with him. Different even than the first times she had faced him. No relentless attack, just patient, measured steps. He would not let her get behind him, but neither would he bring the fight to her.

The aetherically-charged round split the air with a crack. She did not miss her target but he was ready for it and brought his blade up to deflect the bullet. While he still had it raised, she aimed her blade for his dominant side and lunged. Again he parried her move. And again and again, until she snarled in frustration.

“You’re not even trying, beast. You wound me. Do I not deserve your best?”

Rhela gritted her teeth. He was mocking her, attempting to bait her into a rage.

“You haven’t even tried to attack me, Zenos, and I’m the one not trying?”

She swung at him again, a sloppy arc at his arm that she knew wouldn’t be effective, just to prove a point. He deflected it, as she knew he would, but used his movement to take a shot at her, forcing her to bring up her blade in defense. There was a grind of metal on metal as their weapons locked and he leaned into her.

“I know your strength, and I would have all of it.”

She shoved back against him, moving him a step back as she jumped away, then dropped back into a fighting stance and circled him again. He was not a new opponent, she just had to focus, think. What had she learned from him?

Zenos started to step towards her, apparently ready to go on the offensive, and she dropped low to sweep her blade at his leg. He was big, fast, but she could fight dirty and use her size to get under his guard. She was off target, but only slightly, and he wasn’t wearing full armor. The edge of her blade dragged along his outer thigh. Deep, but not fatal. Zenos laughed wildly.

Rhela spun to face him again, not fast enough. His katana ripped through her coat and into her flesh. The pain burned through her upper arm, dulled by the thrill of battle and whatever residual defense magic Urianger had thrown at her before dropping back. Even so, it was enough to make her stumble. Blood dripped down her arm to her hand and she wiped it on her pants before resetting her grip.

If it hurt, if the pain was real, she could forget.

Rhela steeled herself, sealing away whatever feelings she had for him, and prepared to attack again.

On and on they fought, locked in a bloody dance of life and death. Rhela gave as good as she got, and Zenos stopped taunting her as his breathing grew ragged. She stopped thinking, stopped feeling.

The first shot hit his side, just below his ribs, a second found its mark closer to center. Zenos took half a step forward, stumbled to his knees. She watched him fall, his grip still tight on the hilt of his blade. Everything she had pushed back to give her strength to fight him crashed over her at once. Her own weapon fell from her hands, forgotten, as she rushed to his side and dropped to her knees.

“Zenos…”

She pulled him into her, one hand pressing uselessly against the wound in his side until he winced. If she could just stop the bleeding...

“Finish it.”

Rhela shook her head. She couldn’t, wasn’t strong enough. She had tried to tell him.

“Please... please don’t make me do this. It’s not too late.”

“Oh, my friend... it could not end any differently.”

She wiped angrily at the hot tears that fell, no thought given to the blood on her hands that smeared across her cheeks. A painful thought in the back of her mind said that he was right. Even if she could save him, what then? Continue this until they burned the world around them to ash? One of them was always fated to die at the hands of the other.

Or maybe it wasn’t fate, just Zenos bending the world to his whim through sheer willpower. It didn’t make much difference either way.

He pulled her to him with a hand on the back of her head, matting her white hair with more blood, both his and hers. She pressed her forehead against his and closed her eyes. For a moment, the universe shrank to just the two of them, her awareness of anything else falling away. There was only their breathing, the beating of their hearts.

“Zenos, I—”

“Let me meet my end in your arms. Do not deny me this, my beast.”

Rhela drew a shaky breath and sat up, her grip tightening on the hilt of his blade. She could make it fast, one short drive between his ribs. It would destroy her own heart to do it but after everything, how could she tell him no? 

Even blunted from their battle, his weapon was still viciously sharp. It was too easy to complete the killing blow.

She should have died with him. And yet she lived, hunched over his still-warm body, his head in her lap. Her heart, infuriatingly, continued to beat without his. Her scream caught and died in her chest. Even her tears no longer fell. There was just vast emptiness inside her.

Someone yelled her name. They ran towards her, but stopped some distance away.

_No fight left to fight._

She bent her forehead to his one last time. Her hunter. Her enemy. Her friend.

Rhela stood and crossed the distance to the Scions, shedding damaged and bloody clothing as she went, down to her chest wrap and linen tights. They all watched, some with mouths agape. She stopped in front of Alphinaud and removed her linkpearl to drop it in his hand.

“I’m finished.”

They said nothing as she retreated. She would come back, she always had. None of them wanted to acknowledge that this time felt different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's an epilogue, keep going.
> 
> Screech at me on Discord at [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv)


	15. Epilogue

__

_and she sailed off through night and day,_  
_and in and out of weeks,_  
_and almost over a year,_  
_to where the wild things are_

———

Alisaie wrapped her arms around herself as she sat on the couch in the solar. It had been two moons since Rhela had killed Zenos and disappeared. She had been seen in Ala Mhigo, immediately after the fight, and then vanished without a trace. They hadn’t started looking for a few days, because they had believed she would return. She was the Warrior of Light, how could she not? As the days wore on, it became increasingly clear that she was gone.

”Alisaie?”

Alphinaud stood in front of her, holding out a steaming mug in one hand. She took it, but really just to have something to hold.

”Would she have gone back to the First?” She didn’t like how desperate she sounded, and she knew that they had been over and over this. It was possible that Rhela had returned to the First, since that was one place she couldn’t be followed. Her brother shook his head as he sat next to her, entirely at a loss for words, for once.

”What do we do now?”

They were all capable fighters, they could continue in her absence, but it wasn’t the same without her light. Everyone was still trying to find their way to understand what had gone wrong. How she had lost her way so badly, and how they had all missed it until it was too late. Urianger and Y’shtola kept their own council; Alphinaud and Alisaie leaned on each other. Thancred had gone off on his own, but it was hardly a secret that there was no love lost between him and Rhela. G’raha had hardly spoken a word since she had left, no one knew how to help him.

“We carry on, as we always have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously cannot thank everyone who supported me through this enough.
> 
> Special thanks to Finks ([Finksalion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finksalion/pseuds/Finksalion)) and Forgiven Whimsy ([ForgivenWhimsy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForgivenWhimsy/pseuds/ForgivenWhimsy)) who have been with me basically since the jump.
> 
> And of course, everyone at the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv) for being their lovely, debauched, enabling selves.


End file.
